Monday, March 13, 2006

Nebraska is #1

Is there anything Nebraskans like more than unprotected sex with random partners? Apparently not. According to the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization that does reproductive health research, Nebraska ranks dead last among states in preventing unplanned pregnancies. However, a panacea for this unfortunate problem is only a week away. On March 20th, Wal-Mart will begin selling the “the plan B pill” nationwide.
This is more than likely the only time I will ever applaud Wal-Mart. This is an extremely important pill. However it is extremely misunderstood. This is in large part due to the pro-life segment of our population mislabeling it “the abortion pill.” In reality, it is “the anti-abortion pill.” The pill works only in the first 72 hours after unprotected sex — before pregnancy exists and thus before there’s anything to abort. Specifically the pill prevents ovulation and fertilization. What it does not do is terminate an existing pregnancy.
I have little doubt bible thumpers (although the bible never once mentions birth control) across the nation will soon be filled with murderous rage. They should realize that this pill will ultimately reduce the number of abortions. I am well versed in catholic doctrine having attended 12 years of catholic school, and I know that regardless of how this pill works Catholics will still be pissed off. This is due to their belief that sex for the sake of enjoyment only is immoral because reproducing is the sole legitimate goal of sex. It is this unfortunate belief that makes this issue so heated. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out.

3 comments:

Lord Bling said...

If the Dark-Age Catholics get organized well enough, Wal-Mart will pull it off the shelf, even though they have no moral reason to do so. At least, that's my prediction.

Miles said...

Nothing quite waiting in the checkout line with your edited copy of "All Eyes on Me", pipe-cleaners, that cool IZOD shirt, car battery, and your Plan B. What's awesome is I can have my eyes checked, hair cut, and a bite of Smackydogs before I even leave the building!
Remember, kids. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the quesion, 'Yes' is the answer.

Ryan the Angry Midget said...

Plan B used to be pulling out. I guess pulling out is now plan 1A.