Saturday, August 30, 2008

Harriet Myers ... Katherine Harris ... Sarah Palin?

I know this is technically yesterday's news, but I'm still scratching my head at who John McCain chose for his running mate. Plus, it's taken me a full day just to dig through all of the 'gifts' she's going to give the Democrats in the next two months. But, we now know one of two things is going to happen: Either we're going to have the first black President, or the first female Vice President. It's gonna be a wild ride to the finish, that's for sure.

So, Sarah Palin. Let's take a closer look, shall we? She won the Miss Wasilla (Alaska) beauty contest in 1984. She came in second in the Miss Alaska beauty contest that same year, but she won 'Miss Congeniality.'


With her second-place finish, she won a college scholarship, so she attended the University of Idaho, where she received a BA in Journalism, with a minor in Political Science. After briefly working as a sportscaster for the local Anchorage newscasts, she won a seat on the Wasilla City Council, and served from 1992 to 1996. She became the Mayor of Wasilla from 1996 to 2006. Currently, she's the Governor of Alaska, and has held the position for the last 20 months.

Now, before I go into her beliefs and recent history, let's point out the obvious. Wasilla has a population of about 8,000 people. Alaska has about 670,000 people. Here she is in a photo op with some of them, fresh off of the filming of a Snickers commercial:


Other than the recent off-shore drilling issue, and the Exxon Valdez crash, Alaska is as isolated as any US state can be, both physically and politically. You have to make a concerted effort to get there without going through another country (maybe that counts as foreign policy experience, but I digress). Oh, and Alaska also had that whole 'Bridge to Nowhere' thing that got them some press, but I'll touch on that in a second.

So, let's look at the facts about Sarah Palin. She's a creationist. That's right. Creationism. A belief that has been proven wrong by the existence of dinosaur bones and Carbon-14 testing, but continues on, like neo-Nazis denying that the Holocaust ever happened.

She's 'as pro-life as any candidate can be,' and opposes abortion even in cases of rape or incest. In fact, she's so anti-choice that she carried a Down's Syndrome baby to term. I know that topic will be considered off-limits by most people, but I'd at least like to point out the dangers of having children past the age of 40:


She voted for the 1998 state constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage (it passed).

She supports off-shore drilling in Alaska, and her husband is an oilman. Coincidence? She even attacked McCain earlier this year for his 'close-mindedness on ANWR.' However, like Obama, she supports windfall taxes on oil profits, while her running mate has staunchly opposed them. She also recently praised Obama's energy plan.

She originally supported the famed 'Bridge to Nowhere'.

She is currently under investigation for a firing scandal in her office. Guilty or innocent, it's not exactly the best timing.

She's a NRA Life Member, and is an avid hunter. Do we need another executive hunting accident waiting to happen?

She mispronounced the word 'nuclear' in her VP acceptance speech. Jesus H. Christ people, ENOUGH.


A month ago, she asked on national TV, 'What is it exactly that a VP does every day?'



I get that she was being sarcastic, but that doesn't change how she came off in the interview. Biden is going to take her lunch money in the VP debate. She might even make us all forget about Admiral Stockdale in 1992. Some on the right are saying that Biden will come off as being mean to her in that debate, but I think that's the only hope they have. I don't care who you are. If you're trying to be the President or Vice President of this country, you've gotta be tough when others challenge you. Kerry and Edwards weren't tough enough in 2004, and we all know where that got them. This isn't a beauty pageant. It's national politics placed firmly under the world's microscope, and the world doesn't hand out awards for congeniality.

Finally, I'd just like to point out that McCain destroyed his strongest talking point against Obama (his young age and inexperience) by choosing a running mate who's even younger and less experienced. Did he really think that he can sway any undecided Hillary supporters by bringing a woman onto his campaign? Palin thanked Hillary Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro in her VP acceptance speech, but both of those women are very politically experienced, and are very pro-women's rights. Palin's voting record and history shows that she's no champion of women's rights whatsoever. She's only a woman because she has the plumbing.

P.S. I know that some of you are thinking, 'But she's a MILF!' because you saw this picture:


So let me paint another picture for you: She's popped FIVE kids out of that thing.

4 comments:

warm_machine said...

Nicely done! Talk about doing some laundry on Palin. I'm still waiting for McCain to say, "Gotcha! Here's my real pick."

The MILF pic... has to be a Photoshop fake and I sure as shit don't want to see the "after" pic of her 'gina.

The Miles said...

But OH so much has happened since your very solid post, Bling.

Very odd that on Sunday, rumors fly all over the blogosphere that Trig, the Down Syndrome baby is not Pailin's but her daughter's.

The basis of this rumor is that when Palin announced her pregnancy, people were shocked and appauled because she announced in her seventh month and people were like, "huh?" She no-looky pregnant?

Now? Well now Bristol Palin is the VPCSBMTNIABMTILFWST18BW!TL.

(for those who don't like abbreviations that's "Vice Presidential Candidate's Supposed Baby Mama that now IS a Baby Mama that I'd like to fuck when she turns 18 but Whoops! too late.")

How's that No sex sex ed position working for you now, there Sarah?

Lord Bling said...

I sincerely hope the Abstinence-only Sex Ed funding she backs comes up in the debate. SINCERELY. Shit, Biden's Catholic but he's not THAT Catholic.

Ryan the Angry Midget said...

Not a clown car...classic Duggar family photo!!