Get your asses out and VOTE

Okay peoples. Tuesday is Election Day. I don't care how you vote, just VOTE.

Don't say, "I'm too busy at work!" Every state requires employers to allow their employees time off to vote. State-by-state details are listed HERE.

Don't say, "I don't know where my polling location is!" Look it up HERE.

Don't say, "I don't know what I'd be voting on!" A quick Google search can fix that.

Don't say, "I'm not registered to vote!" Go HERE. It may not be too late. However, if it is too late for you to register in your state, then you waited too long and you're an asshole.

There. Unless you're an ex-con, undocumented worker, or an asshole, you're out of excuses. Vote.

P.S. I said I don't care how you vote? Okay, I have to make one exception. If you live in Delaware, and are voting for this woman:

"I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven. ... One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar."

"It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can't masturbate without lust."

"American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

"Evolution is a myth. ... Why aren't monkeys still evolving into humans?"

... well, I guess go ahead and vote for her. It's a democracy, and I can't stop you. I just hope for humanity's sake that you're sterile.