The new Call of Duty from Treyarch is (GASP) actually good

I know, I know. I haven't posted any blog updates lately. Work has been crazy, and I've been catching up on some new video games. I've spent a lot of time with one in particular, even though if you told me a year ago that it'd be a 'Game of the Year' competitor, I wouldn't have believed you.

Call of Duty: Black Ops came out recently, and much to my surprise (and delight), it doesn't suck! In fact, it's actually pretty good. The multiplayer is more balanced than Modern Warfare 2, and the customization is deeper than any other console FPS. On top of all that, there's a 'Theater' mode where you can take screenshots from any point in any game you've played in the past seven days. You can download them from their website, and they're very high quality. This has become extremely addicting.

Here is a close-up of one of my assault rifles. Not only can you choose from a ton of different camo styles, but you can create your own emblem and have it put on your rifle, as well as having your clan tag carved into it.


Here is me shooting some fool point-blank in the chest with a shotgun:


I ran up behind this dude and shanked him like it was my first day in prison:


Theater mode also has the ability to make 30 second clips and upload them to the site. Then you can link your YouTube account to the site, and then videos automatically upload to YouTube. No longer do you have to explain that awesome kill to your friends, or that funny moment. You can show them, from any angle. More games need to have this function!

Here's me sneaking up behind a camper ... ERRRR, 'an opponent who is utilizing strategic placement', and shooting him in the head with an explosive crossbow bolt:



Here's me getting a lucky semtex stick kill on another camper:



Here's my fat ass falling on someone and killing him, then slicing up his Juggalo friend:



And finally, here's me team-killing our old friend Miles, and giving his corpse a close-up view of my crotch:



My problems with World at War were many, and I wasn't shy about making my feelings known. However, Treyarch was working on more than one game at the time. They were spread thin, and it showed. Black Ops was their only project for the past two years, and while it's not perfect, the improvements are major. Treyarch, my hat's off to you.

Get your asses out and VOTE

Okay peoples. Tuesday is Election Day. I don't care how you vote, just VOTE.

Don't say, "I'm too busy at work!" Every state requires employers to allow their employees time off to vote. State-by-state details are listed HERE.

Don't say, "I don't know where my polling location is!" Look it up HERE.

Don't say, "I don't know what I'd be voting on!" A quick Google search can fix that.

Don't say, "I'm not registered to vote!" Go HERE. It may not be too late. However, if it is too late for you to register in your state, then you waited too long and you're an asshole.

There. Unless you're an ex-con, undocumented worker, or an asshole, you're out of excuses. Vote.

P.S. I said I don't care how you vote? Okay, I have to make one exception. If you live in Delaware, and are voting for this woman:

"I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven. ... One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar."

"It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can't masturbate without lust."

"American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

"Evolution is a myth. ... Why aren't monkeys still evolving into humans?"

... well, I guess go ahead and vote for her. It's a democracy, and I can't stop you. I just hope for humanity's sake that you're sterile.

How awesome would porn look on THIS?

Well, other than having balls fly at your face .... I bring to you, THE GREATEST TV EVER MADE (available to consumers so far)


Every time I go to Fry's, I walk by the 55'' version, and it stops me dead in my tracks. The picture quality is unmatched. However, I already have a 65'' Mitsubishi DLP in the living room, and I didn't want to downsize. Then I saw that price, and OMG, STICKER SHOCK set in. I'm gonna wait a while. Still, the long-term plan is to get this, and move the Mitsubishi into my game room. One of these days, it WILL happen.

Game Review: Dead Rising 2

Zombies. Who doesn't love 'em? The zombie movie has made a comeback in the past decade. A couple of them were pretty good, and they helped coax George A. Romero and his Harry Caray glasses out of retirement. There's a zombie TV series starting on AMC this month called 'The Walking Dead'. And, they're the perfect video game cannon fodder. Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 sold millions each, as well they should've. They're great games.

Another strong-selling zombie game is Dead Rising. Set in a shopping mall, your job is to find out what caused the undead outbreak, but you only have 72 hours to do so. It was a great setting for a zombie game (even if it's taken lock stock and barrel from a classic Romero film). Great graphics, especially for a launch-window game, with hundreds of zombies on screen at once. Tons of objects that can be used as weapons, and you can level up your character for multiple playthroughs. So why did I hate it?

The game did everything in its power to get in the way of the fun. They give you an open-world setting, but they restrict you with a timed mission structure. The missions are given to you via text, at the bottom of the screen, and almost always when you're in the middle of another mission. 90% of the gameplay is 'escort missions'. Just the word 'escort mission' is enough to make most gamers groan, and the ones in Dead Rising are no exception. They make sense in the scope of the game, but the survivor A.I. was terrible, and rarely fought for themselves or made any effort to keep up with you. And the biggest deal breaker for me? The save system is archaic and broken. You have to walk into a bathroom to save your progress. On the way to every bathroom are tons of zombies. If you're low on health and don't have any food to eat, you may not survive long enough to get to a bathroom, which means whatever progress you've made since the last save will be lost. After this happened a few times in a row, combined with everything else, I gave up on it.

The worst part of all of this? Before Dead Rising shipped, they released a demo on Xbox Live. In the demo, you had 30 minutes to go wild in the mall and kill zombies however you wanted. It was a blast! Playing the demo only set me up to be disappointed by the restrictive final product. But then Capcom announced Dead Rising 2 last year, and I felt optimistic.


Set in a small Vegas-like town, you're given the ability to combine two objects and create a new weapon. This replaces the ability to take pictures that was in the first game, which I rarely used. This got me (and a good amount of gamers) excited. Put a shotgun together with a pitchfork and create a 'boomstick'! Put a propane tank with a box of nails and create an IED! Put a coat hanger with a wheelchair and create a rolling abortion machine! Okay, so you can't make the last one, but trust me when I say the possibilities are almost endless. On top of the weapon system, and the new setting, I also assumed that they'd fix the broken save system and the mission delivery method. So how did they do?

I hate it.

While it takes place in a gambling town, most of your time will be spent where? In a shopping mall. That's right. Your safe house exits into a mall, which may as well be a copy / paste job from the first game.

The load times are atrocious. They were bad in the first game, but they're even worse here. The screen freezes up when you're trying to get to the main menu. Every time you walk through a door? Load screen. And you'll walk through doors a lot, so I hope you like loading screens! Every time you save the game, the screen freezes for almost 15 seconds. It makes you think your Xbox is crashing. Not good.

How do you get your missions? Via text, at the bottom of the screen, usually when you're in the middle of another mission. Again, you're fighting for your life against a horde of zombies, while escorting survivors (who admittedly have improved A.I.) and you have to 'answer your walkie-talkie' to hear about some other survivor you need to save. Wait, did I say 'hear'? I meant 'read'. Does someone at Capcom have a problem with voice acting? Other than cutscenes, there's hardly any of it in this game.

The save system? Still shitty. They give you three separate save slots instead of one, but you still have to run to a goddamned bathroom to save. Note to developers: It's 2010. Most games have aggressive auto-checkpoints, or are like Elder Scrolls IV or Fallout 3 (autosaves, and save at any point you want, into as many save slots as you want). Make an effort to keep up with the competition. If you make gamers work to save their progress, you failed as a developer.

Combining items to make new weapons? Yeah, it's pretty cool. However, you have to take these items to a 'maintenance room', so you can't just do it on the fly. This adds to the tedium that the game seems to relish.


They added online co-op, but it's limited and basic. They also added an online multiplayer mode, but it's stupid and feels tacked-on. It's a reality game show where contestants have to kill the most zombies. It ties into the beginning of the single-player campaign, but it's just a set of mini-games that make Fusion Frenzy 2 look like Mario Party. I like that you can carry over your prize money to the single-player, but it doesn't make the game modes fun. I had troubles finding a game, and I was playing on the first weekend after the game released.

I really wanted to like this game. I played for quite a few hours last weekend, but it just kept getting in the way of itself. If you're a fan of the first game, by all means, pick up a copy of Dead Rising 2. If you weren't a fan of the first, stay far, far away.

I hate network TV, but I love 'House'

Hey kids. I haven't posted anything in a while, but not because I've been busy. I mean, yeah, I've been working and traveling a lot, but I've also been gaming a lot (my Xbox Live gamerscore is approaching six figures, and I got a new laptop and Steam has become an addiction). I've also been watching more TV. I typically just watch sports or McLaughlin Group, and I stay away from network TV. Well, except for one show in the summer: Big Brother. You can say it's trashy and worthless, or you could look past the surface and see it for what it is: A live 24-hour-a-day sociological and political science experiment. Granted, it's a guilty pleasure, but the way people manipulate each other is fascinating. However, other than Big Brother, I don't watch network TV. Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, and a ton of doctor and lawyer shows. Crap, crap, and more crap. Then I caught a couple of episodes of House, and realized I needed to make an exception. It was this line that got me:


A misanthropic atheist with a drug addiction who excels at manipulating people? Count me in. And that it's on Fox makes it even better. Sometimes it feels like they slipped one past the goalie, so to speak. Most episodes follow a specific pattern, but it's an enjoyable one, and sometimes you actually learn something about specific diseases. Most of the time, they fall into the 'Star Trek' trap of using a lot of big words in a hurry, but at least the words actually mean something here. It also doesn't hurt that the side characters are well-written and interesting. What can I say? I'm hooked.

Okay, gotta run. Team Fortress 2 is half-price on Steam this weekend, so a lot of people are playing.

EDIT: As if Ryan needed another reason to watch House, an episode from Season 4 called 'It's a Wonderful Lie' has the following exchange (posted from Wikipedia):

"In the clinic, House treats another female patient, called Melanie (Jennifer Hall), whom he initially diagnoses with strep throat. House notices that she has a necklace of Saint Nicholas, whom she describes as the patron saint of children. At the same time, he notices that she's had HIV tests every 3 months, and that Saint Nicholas is also the patron saint of prostitutes. Since she isn't a child, he tells her that he's deduced that she is a prostitute, which causes her to smile in response. She later returns with pustules on her neck and chest. House asks if she does donkey shows, and when she says yes, he gives her a prescription for contagious ecthyma, a disease she has that can be caught from donkeys. She invites him to see the show, and says he might like it."

August 28th-The Thing to Remember

As we all know, this day will forever be known for a great man. No not Glen Beck, Sarah Palin, or Fox News. This day belongs to Martin Luther King Jr. To co-opt a day, in the way Glen Beck has, shows you how little creativity is actually left within our news organizations and how much the right wing is struggling to keep hold of what little sanity they must have. Glen Beck is nothing more than a magician of the worst sort. He's the kid at the party that wants you to discover what has happened to the object in his hand, only after he places them behind his back for a few seconds. The people that are sucked in by him, and those like him, truly have me fearing for the future of my children. To Glen Beck I say this on behalf of everyone that recognizes that he picked this day, of all days, to hold his rally: Screw You!
I will now leave it to a man whose words carries more credence than mine.

Fun with Words

When I'm mad, I tend to say more swear words than the average person. It led to a friend of mine creating a word about it, and he and a couple of others occasionally call me it when I'm yelling about getting spawn-camped online. I'm not going to post the word, but I'll say that it's listed as number 2, part 2 here. Hearing someone call me that word actually calms me down a bit, because it shows me how ridiculous I'm being, and how good I actually have it in this world.

However, this post isn't about the Holocaust or Xbox Live. I'm talking about the specific words I use when I cuss. I'm not too inventive when I work blue. I go to the fall-backs that feel really good when you spit them out. "Fuck!" That's a given. "Motherfucker!" Yeah, pretty much. "Fuckin' motherfuckers!" Wow, how original. "Faggot!" Wait, what?

I almost never use the word 'faggot'. I have gay friends, and to them, I imagine that it's like using the 'Dr. Laura word' around a black friend. I've used the word 'fag' around them a couple of times, which is kinda like saying 'Nigga' instead of the full N-word? But when I do, it's always in a playful manner, and they know it's not coming from a hateful place. I would never use it in public. And yet, sometimes in the heat of the moment in a game on Xbox Live, the word might shoot out. It feels good to say, really loud and angry, doesn't it? However, when I started thinking about it, I was pretty ashamed of myself, as I should be. 'John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory' is not a valid excuse.


Every other swear word I use has no real connotation to anything in real life. Calling someone a 'fucker'? I'm not picturing them fucking someone. It's just a word that feels good to say when you're mad. And I know that the people on the other end aren't fucking my mother either. At least, I highly doubt they are. The same is true about 'fag' or 'faggot'. I don't know if anyone on the other end is straight or gay, and I don't care, because it makes no difference to me. So I've made a conscious decision to no longer use the word 'fag' or 'faggot' as a swear word, or in anger. From now on, I'm replacing it with the word 'furry':



Furries deserve every ounce of our wrath. They're a waste of skin, which is ironic because they wish they didn't have skin in the first place. They're not misunderstood; they're just looking for attention. And let's add a level of clarification, before some furry finds this blog and posts something in the comment section: It doesn't matter if they're straight or gay. I don't care if a furry has sex with a man or a woman (or an actual animal, if they live in Wyoming). That is irrelevant.

Furries have nothing of value to contribute to our society. In fact, other than consoling with other furries, they don't even have anything to contribute to the online community, which is REALLY pathetic. Every other online community has their own memes. Eventually some make it out into the real world, and a few even find life with the general public. However, furries have the word 'yiff', Wile E. Coyote costumes, and brightly-colored pictures of humanimals with erections. There is no need for furries in our society, and if you disagree, you're a fucking furry fucker.

Please join me in this noble task. We can make the world a better place, one word at a time.

P.S. Come to think of it, I'm not going to use the word 'cocksucker' any more either. To call someone that is to infer that sucking cock is a bad thing. Personally, I'm a big fan of getting my cock sucked, so why should that word be used negatively? I guess if you're saying it to a straight man to imply that he's gay, then I understand, but that's still pretty shitty. If I were in prison and only saw dudes for years on end, I'd probably be begging to meet a cocksucker of any kind. So, I think I'm gonna replace that word with 'Juggalo'. It doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well, but I think it's worth the effort.

Fun with Photoshop

Over the past couple of years, I've played around with Photoshop, and have enjoyed the lulz it can bring. Here are a few of my favorites that haven't been posted on this site. Most of these aren't 'technical' but as long as they get a laugh or two, that's all that matters.










I made this one into a t-shirt for our friend Brandon:

Monica Crowley is the cancer that is killing The McLaughlin Group

Monica Crowley MUST be stopped.



Really? The Republicans will win by default? With no strategy and no leader? I think they have the opportunity to gain some seats in the House, but let's not get cocky. She also makes no bones about saying 'We' when talking about the Republicans. She doesn't do this anywhere else, which shows how much she's in her comfort zone when she's on Fox News. And when will Fox News pull a 'WWE' and come out and admit that it's staged? It would be a lot more entertaining, and they could stop pretending they're a 'respected' news outlet. In fact, I could see Stone Cold Steve Austin as a regular on Hannity's 'Great American Panel':


Here is Crowley in 2008, arguing that Clinton should give his annual pension back, because he's already rich and is just cashing in on his presidency.



Rich people giving money back to the people? What a novel concept. And she argues that Nixon was better than Clinton, because he didn't want to be a burden on taxpayers? Anyone who trashes Bill Clinton by comparing him to Nixon should not be allowed back on television, EVER. By the way, she worked for Nixon in his later years. Big surprise. And she wrote two books about him. So, she made money off of his presidency. What a hypocrite.

The only reason Crowley is a regular on the McLaughlin Group is because she's slightly better looking than Tony Blankley. Otherwise, they may as well be the same person. They both have the same tired extreme right-wing takes, and they both have a history with the Washington Times, which up until last year, was run by the Moonies. She needs to get the boot from the McLaughlin Group. Eleanor Clift can be pretty bad about towing her party line, but at least she occasionally agrees with a fair point that someone on the right makes. This is also why I've come around a little bit on Pat Buchanan. He's become more of a right-leaning centrist as he's gotten older (just as McLaughlin has been a life-long Republican, but eventually morphed into more of a centrist). I don't care if people are liberal or conservative; I just appreciate when someone has the ability to look at a different point of view and occasionally see what they mean. Crowley is a lockstep conservative who never has anything of value to add to the show. The only time I can recall her agreeing with a Democrat was when Obama changed his view on off-shore drilling (right before the BP disaster). That was hardly stepping out of her comfort zone, and it was more of a backhanded compliment than anything else. She may as well be reading cue cards written by Michael Steele.

The McLaughlin Group is still my favorite show on television, but she is ruining it.

Movie Review -- Inception

Christopher Nolan is one of the most exciting filmmakers working today. He exploded onto the scene in 2000 with Memento, a shockingly original puzzler about a short-term amnesiac trying to avenge his wife's death, and it told its tale backwards, in order to recreate the feeling in the viewer of not knowing what happened before. It was very effective, got robbed for the Best Editing Oscar, and still is a compelling view even ten years later. One of the biggest reasons that it remains so strong under repeated views is not just in the plot or editing, but in Guy Pierce's haunting performance. He elicits unexpected empathy for his character, even if Leonard Shelby is basically just a misdirected serial killer. It's one of my favorite films for all of those reasons, and it gained so much good will for Nolan that I've seen everything he's directed on opening weekend ever since. So, regardless of the critics' gushings for his later films, why is Memento still his greatest?

Insomnia was okay for a remake, and could be mistaken for a great film if you haven't seen the Scandinavian original it was based on (rent or Netflix it ASAP; it's dark as hell and gets better with repeated viewings). Batman Begins helped begin the 'franchise reboot' craze, but the performances were mostly flat (Katie Holmes, I'm looking squarely at you), and having Gordon drive the Batmobile almost ruined the entire third act for me. The Prestige was better than I thought it would be, but it still felt long and underwhelming. The Dark Knight is 3/4ths of a great film, but gets bogged down in some groan-worthy deus ex machina near the end. And now we have Inception.


I won't spend too much time with plot details, primarily to leave out spoilers, but also because it gets so complex, it would be easier to just cut-and-paste the entire script here. However, a quick synopsis of 'Heat meets The Matrix' will do. Or maybe 'Oceans 11 meets Nightmare on Elm Street 3'? Essentially, it's about people who go into the dreams of others and steal information, international corporate espionage, hot French women locked in basements, and dreidels.

The film is a technological marvel, as are all of Nolan's other films. It's brilliantly scripted, filmed, edited, and scored. Using dreams in film can be risky, because it's been done so many times before (some have made entire careers out of it), but Nolan partially avoids the 'Is it a Dream?' trap by coming out in the first 30 minutes and acknowledging the use of dreams-within-dreams. Those first 30 minutes are perfect, and explain with few words how dream hacking works, and how you can get around things. Then Nolan's script turns into about 60 minutes of solid exposition, but the editing and score help keep it moving at a snappy pace. Then comes the payoff in the last 60 minutes, and while you need a flowchart to keep up with it, somehow it all makes sense. And then we get to why I say Nolan 'PARTIALLY avoids the trap', which is due to the last few shots. Again, I won't get into spoilers, but I'll just say that part of me thinks it's the perfect ending, and the other part thinks it's a terrible cop-out. After you see it, think of Brazil, and how Gilliam made a commitment to an ending, even though you kinda get both. No 'dream' film I've seen since that one has been as strong, and that includes Inception.


Did I enjoy the film? Yes, I did. Nolan used his post-Dark Knight clout to tell the story exactly how he wanted to, with no studio interference. He spent almost ten years working on the script, mapping out all of the minor details, and it shows. It asks much of its audience, which is especially noble in the 'whiz-bang-boom' of the summer season. It has some good action set pieces (the weightless hallway scene is jaw-dropping), but they are not the reason the film exists. So, what is keeping this good film from being great? It's simple, actually: Nolan created a brilliant spreadsheet of a film, but with no sympathetic characters. DiCaprio has the only role that requires more than one emotion, and he came off as passable, but that's it. I'm not saying he's bad, but the film isn't better because of him. I find this to be the case in almost all of DiCaprio's works. What does it say when his best performance was in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'? He stole that film, and hasn't really carried anything since.


For me, a film can't be truly 'great' unless it makes some sort of personal connection to its audience. Inception isn't concerned with such things. It shows you sights and ideas you've never seen in a movie before, and its craft is impeccable. For those reasons alone, it's worth recommending. However, I hope Nolan will eventually create another sympathetic character like Leonard Shelby, or he'll cast an actor strong enough to go outside what's on the page and evoke emotion from his audience.

Some critics are hailing Inception as the next 'masterpiece', as they incorrectly did for The Dark Knight. Perhaps if it would've been released in the 'award season' of December and January, to higher expectations, it would've reviewed a little lower? However, the great news is that Nolan is only 39 years old, and still has a long career ahead of him. I have enough hope in his ability to where I'll go to his next film on opening weekend, no matter what. There aren't too many directors I can say that about right now.

Archer

When someone tells me a TV show is good, it usually takes them three or four separate mentions before I end up giving it a try. It's never anything personal; I just think that 98% of what's on TV is complete and utter shit. Well, The Miles kept going on and on about Archer, and whaddya know? He was right. It's fucking hilarious. Don't believe me? You can watch the entire first season for free, starting right here:

Archer -- Mole Hunt (Pilot)

If you have Netflix streaming, it's on there too.

There are so many great lines in the show, I had to make a bunch of ringtones from some of them. I was going to host them here, but Blogger.com doesn't let you do that, so let me know if you're interested and I can e-mail them to you (I have about 30 different ones as of right now).

What the hell have I been doing?

I bet you all thought that this page was turning into a tribute page for all the people we know in our lives who have died or bands that broke up. As the progenitor of this site, I am completely to blame for this lack of activity, or at least as much to blame as the other deadbeats who never post anything here. At least Lord Bling gives us videos to entertain us. I'm going to try to provide an update that actually explains why I haven't been posting as much or at least make up some plausible excuses.

Work- It might be hard to believe when you read what I write, but I actually have a career, a huge part of which is reading and writing. I am a researcher in the health sciences, and I spend countless hours reviewing articles and writing up my own studies. A few years ago, I was a clinician and spent much less of my time doing this sort of thing, so I didn't mind trying to come up with some witty post when I got home from work. Nowadays, if I am not engaged in research, I'm writing emails about my research, reviewing other people's research and writing computer programs to do my research or statistics. I've just made my job sound terrible, but I am one of those sick people who enjoys this existence. I just don't feel like writing as much these days.

School-In addition to working close to full-time, I am also writing my dissertation so that I can get my PhD, which I have been working on since 2007. If you've been in a PhD program or even graduate school, you realize that doing this also requires ridiculous amounts of reading and writing. Do you see a theme here?

Failure to utilize birth control-When I started my PhD program in 2007, I had zero children and my wife was not pregnant. Currently, I have two children under the age of two. For those of you who don't have children, imagine doing all of the activities stated above, but without time or sleep. I love my children most of the time, but the simple fact is that in order to make sure that they don't end up in therapy or shooting people from a clock tower at a local university, I need to spend time with them and sleep when I can.

Hopefully, you're beginning to see why my ability to contribute substantively to this site has been substantially impeded as of late. I'm going to try to be more active here, but I'm also not just going to post crap to have something new here for people to read. That is all.

Best health care in the world? Look to teams that did well in the World Cup (i.e. not the U.S)

To hear conservatives tell it, you'd think we here in the old U.S. of A. have the best health care system in the world. People who have access to health care in the U.S. have a tendency to fall into this trap because they believe that because they experience something, it must be universal to all people. Other situations where this logical retardation tends to lead to faulty conclusions include global warming (including the incredibly dense and annoying - "It snowed 10 inches this weekend, where's the global warming Al Gore?) and abstinence education (I couldn't get laid in by bow tie and suspenders, so kids shouldn't have any problem avoiding sex until marriage).

A study was published recently, which was summarized in an excellent editorial that you can see at the Lancet, that demonstrated just how bad our health care system is here in this great land where anyone can get an MRI (except poor people) and anyone can get surgery (except people without insurance). The bottom line of the survey - the United States ranks last out of seven countries, despite spending about twice as much as other countries, including those with that oppressive commie, pinko universal health care. The editorial also goes on to discuss what Obama-Care is going to do and not do to change that. If you're an intelligent person that enjoys reading over such activities as spotlighting and making corn cob pipes, it's a good read.

My question is how much fucking evidence do conservatives need that everyone (including their stingy asses) is paying way too much money for shitty health care? We could do better with less money if we just accepted that health care access is a huge part of the problem, paying for people who don't have insurance or wait to seek care until the condition is expensive as fuck to treat because they can't afford to get earlier treatment. How badly have we failed as a country that almost half of the people in this country can't understand that we already have a single-payer system, you just have to bankrupt yourself before you can access it?

There are times where I see how a reasonable person could come to a different conclusion than I do, mostly because I'm certifiably insane. Health care reform is not one of those situations.

RIP Shelfo - Chris Campbell 1978-2010

I've been lucky enough in my life to have some pretty awesome friends, some of whom are much better than I am lately at keeping this blog alive after almost 6 years. I'm not talking about friends in the Facebook sense neither. Real friends, actual people who are part of all the experiences that make up our lives. I lost a real friend this week, Chris "Shelfo" Campbell, who died too soon Friday at the age of 32.

I met Chris and his twin brother Steve on August 13, 1998, when my roommate at the time, who knew them from high school, and I met them to go to see Tool and the Melvins at Red Rocks (where we ran into Lord Bling). We loaded up in their Jeep Cherokee and headed to the show, as we would do many, many times during the following years for a wide range of other shows including Deftones, Limp Bizkit, Sevendust and Korn, just to name a few. Despite the fact that I didn't have tatoos or any of the other characteristics of a hardcore music fan, both accepted me as the nerdy guy who could remember all the minute details about any band, even when completely intoxicated.

Chris had an incredible passion for music and played bass in the band Headgone. Here is an older, but still great video with Chris on bass, Steve on lead vocals, and even a special appearance by the HCP.

not here (live at Cervantes)


Headgone MySpace Music Videos


Chris was incredibly loyal to his friends and family. One great example of this occurred in 1999 when a group of us including my younger sister were walking to a party in Greeley. Some guys drove by and yelled something at my sister, and being my sister, she yelled something back. The cars stops and two guys jump out and start walking towards my sister like they were going to fight a freshman girl. Before I could even think about what to do, Chris was up defending her with an unopened beer cocked back behind his head like he was going to throw a knucklebeer right off their heads. It took those guys about three seconds to figure out that Chris was going to help them meet their out-of-pocket contribution for their health insurance plans if they didn't get their happy asses back in the vehicle and drive away. As they scampered back to their car, Chris turned and made a joke about how doing steroids makes your balls shrink and leads to bad decision-making.

Over the last few years, Chris and I didn't talk very much, a combination of distance and a mutual lack of effort. I regretted this long before his death, but now that he's gone, I hate the fact that I'll never be able to talk to him again.

Chris, I hope you are at peace, and that you're having a beer with Lynn from Snot (and making fun of Michael Jackson). This song will always remind me of you and the time that Chino stood on us at the Ogden in Denver (plus, Chi sings Max's part):

Caturday, motherfucker, do you speak it?

RIP -- This Site?

Dammit, I won't stand by and watch this site die. However, it's pretty boring when I'm the one who writes every post. Why does CowboyLaw have to be a lawyer, doing his legal law thing, for 90 hours a week? Why does the Midge have to spend all his time trying to get his doctorate, punishing his liver, and being a baby daddy? Why does HCP have to spend all day hanging out at Home Depot trying to get hired to carry sheet rock?

Oh well. If you want something done right, sometimes you just gotta do it yourself. So this is gonna count as an update, and I'm giving you stuff too. Don't ever say you didn't get anything from me, you bastards. Over the past couple of months, I made some desktop wallpapers. Maybe you'll like 'em; maybe you won't. But at least it's something new to look at!

I recently watched an old samurai flick called 'The Sword of Doom'. It was really out there. Hard to recommend to most people, but the last six or seven minutes is non-stop insanity. This scene happens earlier, but is very iconic in the genre:


Here's another one where I resized a screenshot from a film. This one's from Saving Private Ryan. If you don't have the Blu-Ray yet, you should pick it up (as soon as Paramount reships it after that recall, although I lucked out and got a good one). If you don't have a Blu-Ray player, well then, I point at you with my snobby finger and laugh. Ha-ha!


Lastly, 'Unforgiven' is one of the greatest films ever made. If you disagree, you are not only wrong, but you're an idiot.



There. A quality update to the site, and not just me posting another YouTube video. 'Quality' of course, being a relative term. Think you can do better? Bring it!

How do you feel about snakes in tunnels?

I think Tunnel Snake is a pretty cool guy. Eh rules and doesn't afraid of anything.

Video of the Week -- The Greatest Drummer, Ever, OF ALL TIME

I can't stop laughing.

Ripping Facebook Privacy is the new black

I read an article the other day on Wired.com that caught my attention, mostly because it captured the paranoia and stupidity that resulted from recent changes in Facebook's privacy policy. The internet now has it's latest dead horse to beat, as Twitter is flooded with people complaining that Facebook is selling their information to advertisers for their own personal gain. Those complaining are trying to say that Facebook is changing the rules that users had previously agreed to and trying to hide their actions in complicated legalese.

As I read these tales of woe, sympathy for Facebook users is not what I am feeling. The idea that a person who voluntarily posts their personal information on a free website for the specific purpose of sharing this information with friends has the expectation of privacy is asinine. Facebook is portrayed as identity thieves, but the user is fully and completely in control of the information they put on the website, as well as who can access the information. It's ironic that people expect photos of them doing bong rips with their friends that they posted for the specific purpose of sharing to be private.

The bottom line is that if you don't like Facebook's privacy policy, suspend your account and stop using the site. Facebook is smart enough to know that their users are too narcissistic and susceptible to peer pressure to stop using their site. Thus far, none of my friends who have been complaining have taken this very obvious step to address the problem, which leads me to question how big of a problem this really is. As far as I can tell, Facebook isn't likely to change their policies simply because people complain. Quit using the site, and they might listen.

Two of the greatest videos ever:

First, it's Slayer in church. Because God loves us all.



Props to the Yard Gnome for sending that one today.

And then we have an infomercial that makes Meatspin look like the Playboy channel:



Both videos have me in awe of their brilliance. One for making church into satanic metal, and another for being the gayest video in the history of infomercials. If I had a glass of liquor, I'd pour some out for whomever created these.

BTW, I hope you weren't at work when you clicked that Meatspin link.