Ryan the Angry Midget HOLIDAY LIGHTS SPECTACULAR

The residents of this house ironically lead very dark lives

It's time for the Holidays again. Yes, Mr. O'Reilly, the Holidays, plural. You see Christmas is not the only holiday that occurs between Thanksgiving and New Years. It won't keep Bill O'Reilly from throwing a fit about stores and businesses that are sensitive to this fact. Just because Bill O'Reilly is an anti-semite, doestn't mean the rest of America has to follow suit. As an aside and before we begin the Holiday Lights Spectacular, O'Reilly finally listed his enemies list on his website. He only managed to come up with three (3) sources on the entire internet that "traffic in defamation", as he puts it. He does not, unfortunately, list his own website as one of the three.

Enough with that cranky blowhard! It's the Holidays. So let's check out some lights!

This is a pretty simplistic and representative example of what Christmas decorations are like in the suburbs. Icicle lights were cool, back in like 1972. I have to give them credit for not overdoing things too much. As you will soon see, there are a lot of jackasses out there with more money to pay electrical bills and buy gawdy decorations than common sense.


I see crap like this all over the place. Some of them are even animated to make it look like the damn things are eating. As if these satanic reindeer spawn aren't scary enough on their own. I hear there's a guy in Alabama who makes pigs like this too, but we won't talk about this since it's a family webpage.

Did I just take acid? Either these people own the power plant outside of town or no one has told them that the number of lights you have on display outside your house has nothing to do with intelligence or the size of your penis. Next year why don't you just add a giant frosty the snowman giving birth to baby Jesus, since that's the only thing I can see that's missing from this suburban atrocity. This guy's neighbors probably wish they lived across the street from Morman drug dealers instead of his phony ass during the holidays.

Now, this display is pretty damned cool. Spelling Happy Hanukkah in lights inside a bunch of dradles is top shelf. If I were Jewish, I would get a similar display to display at my house that said FUCK YOU BILL O'REILLY YOU GIANT ANTI-SEMITE DOUCHEBAG with a giant Star of David at the end. If you know where I can pick something like this up, please let me know.