Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fun with Words

When I'm mad, I tend to say more swear words than the average person. It led to a friend of mine creating a word about it, and he and a couple of others occasionally call me it when I'm yelling about getting spawn-camped online. I'm not going to post the word, but I'll say that it's listed as number 2, part 2 here. Hearing someone call me that word actually calms me down a bit, because it shows me how ridiculous I'm being, and how good I actually have it in this world.

However, this post isn't about the Holocaust or Xbox Live. I'm talking about the specific words I use when I cuss. I'm not too inventive when I work blue. I go to the fall-backs that feel really good when you spit them out. "Fuck!" That's a given. "Motherfucker!" Yeah, pretty much. "Fuckin' motherfuckers!" Wow, how original. "Faggot!" Wait, what?

I almost never use the word 'faggot'. I have gay friends, and to them, I imagine that it's like using the 'Dr. Laura word' around a black friend. I've used the word 'fag' around them a couple of times, which is kinda like saying 'Nigga' instead of the full N-word? But when I do, it's always in a playful manner, and they know it's not coming from a hateful place. I would never use it in public. And yet, sometimes in the heat of the moment in a game on Xbox Live, the word might shoot out. It feels good to say, really loud and angry, doesn't it? However, when I started thinking about it, I was pretty ashamed of myself, as I should be. 'John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory' is not a valid excuse.

Every other swear word I use has no real connotation to anything in real life. Calling someone a 'fucker'? I'm not picturing them fucking someone. It's just a word that feels good to say when you're mad. And I know that the people on the other end aren't fucking my mother either. At least, I highly doubt they are. The same is true about 'fag' or 'faggot'. I don't know if anyone on the other end is straight or gay, and I don't care, because it makes no difference to me. So I've made a conscious decision to no longer use the word 'fag' or 'faggot' as a swear word, or in anger. From now on, I'm replacing it with the word 'furry':

Furries deserve every ounce of our wrath. They're a waste of skin, which is ironic because they wish they didn't have skin in the first place. They're not misunderstood; they're just looking for attention. And let's add a level of clarification, before some furry finds this blog and posts something in the comment section: It doesn't matter if they're straight or gay. I don't care if a furry has sex with a man or a woman (or an actual animal, if they live in Wyoming). That is irrelevant.

Furries have nothing of value to contribute to our society. In fact, other than consoling with other furries, they don't even have anything to contribute to the online community, which is REALLY pathetic. Every other online community has their own memes. Eventually some make it out into the real world, and a few even find life with the general public. However, furries have the word 'yiff', Wile E. Coyote costumes, and brightly-colored pictures of humanimals with erections. There is no need for furries in our society, and if you disagree, you're a fucking furry fucker.

Please join me in this noble task. We can make the world a better place, one word at a time.

P.S. Come to think of it, I'm not going to use the word 'cocksucker' any more either. To call someone that is to infer that sucking cock is a bad thing. Personally, I'm a big fan of getting my cock sucked, so why should that word be used negatively? I guess if you're saying it to a straight man to imply that he's gay, then I understand, but that's still pretty shitty. If I were in prison and only saw dudes for years on end, I'd probably be begging to meet a cocksucker of any kind. So, I think I'm gonna replace that word with 'Juggalo'. It doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well, but I think it's worth the effort.

No comments: