Wednesday, December 05, 2007


You can't handle the truth

We've all been there. You need to get drunk, and you only have 5 bucks. How do you make a decision between all of the different stomach-cancer inducing liquors out there? The innovative folks at McCormick Vodka have it all figured out. A handle of vodka from this fine distillery is usually a whopping $9.99. A liter bottle? No, a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka. Ten dollars. Don't worry about the warning label that guarantees that you will bleed to death internally if you take a single aspirin with this vodka. It's 10 dollars for almost two liters. Cheaper than gas in Switzerland, and safer to drink to boot.

As if that wasn't enough, McCormick is offering a $3 mail in rebate at my local grocery store, making the total purchase price for two liters of vodka $6. Now that's cheaper than gas in Nebraska, but what do you think the redemption rate is on a vodka rebate. Keep in mind that for normal rebates on things like computers, big screen TVs and washing machines, the average redemption rate (number of people who actually send everything in) hovers below 25%. What do you think it is for vodka, considering that if you drink a bottle of this gut rot, that you probably won't remember where you live, let alone to keep your receipt, label from the bottle, and rebate form. McCormick knows that their clientele are the people who don't remember not to park their car on the lawn, so this promotion should work perfectly.


Lord Bling said...

Ugh. McCormick vodka. I drank so much of that when I was in college, I'm surprised they didn't give me a lifetime achievement award.

CowboyLaw said...

The sad part is, you have no idea how much of this crap you'd actually have to drink to get a lifetime achievement award. I'm sure it's insane.