Review -- Black Ops 2 Multiplayer

Hey!  What have you all been up to?  Apparently, not reading anything new on this blog.  So let's fix that!

Black Ops 2 came out last week and I've been playing a bit of the online multiplayer.  Here's my review:



We're just over a month away from my year-end 'Best Of' lists!  I bet you all can't wait!

What Mitt Romney thinks of Obama voters

This is how politicians talk at fund raisers when they think no one is recording them.



EDIT -- A writer for Bloomberg.com predicts that today is the day that Romney lost the election.  I can't help but agree.  Saying you don't worry about 47% of the country is bad politics, no matter how you slice it.

Never Forget

Never forget that you shouldn't trust anyone who promises you great things after you die.

Never forget that we are consistently lied to by those in power, and by those seeking power.

Never forget to listen to as many sides to an argument as possible.

Never forget to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Never forget to think for yourself.

Dallas, prepare your diddly-hole.

Dallas, in less than five hours, The Miles will be in you.  I can't be held responsible for what happens.  At the very least, there will be golf.  A Texas Rangers game.  Quakecon.  Perhaps a viewing of the 'oh-my-fucking-hell-why-did-we-pay-to-see-this' remake of Total Recall.  And from there, it gets ugly.  So ugly, I can't even put it in writing.  Let's just say I have Saul Goodman on speed dial.

Dallas, I hope your body is ready.

Battlestation pics

I got a new TV for the game room!  My battlestation is now fully operational:

The first TV I got was defective (dead pixels along the entire bottom couple of inches), but Amazon took it back and replaced it for me for free.  It's the new ST50 model, and it's pretty sweet.

Since one picture isn't enough to contain the awesomeness, here's the other side of the room:

Gaming sessions can go pretty long, so comfort was a major key.  Well, it is for me.  The Player Two chair isn't nearly as comfortable, but it has a Charlie the Unicorn blanket (thanks JLaw!).  With my old setup (including Monolith-sized CRT rear-projection TV), I didn't have room for a Player Two chair.  Now, I have everything I need!

See you online....

Movie Review -- Prometheus

Due to my work connections, I got to see Prometheus a few days early.  I was at E3 last week so I wasn't able to post the review until now.  Here it is, spoiler-free.

I liked it a lot, but wanted to love it.  There were a couple of small missteps in areas like shallow characterization and predictable foreshadowing, but nothing 'deal-breaking'.  The visuals were amazing, and the 3D was really well done.  It added depth and wasn't gimmicky.  It was filmed in 3D and not done in post, so feel confident in seeing it with the additional dimension.

I like how they raised some very large questions about the creation of life.  Considering how the first Alien film was essentially 'truckers in space', they made a huge leap into thought-provoking sci-fi here.  There apparently is even more depth underneath the surface than I'd originally thought.  After you've seen the movie, go HERE to read more ... but don't go now because it's filled with spoilers.

The film is just over two hours long, but it could've used about 30 more minutes.  It was paced really well for about the first 75 minutes, and then goes into a mad dash to the finish line, almost feeling like they were fast-forwarding to hit major plot points.  There are two lines spoken by the ship's captain in the last act that explain about 80% of the film.  It felt forced, but due to the pacing near the end, they were necessary.  I really hope we get an Extended Cut on Blu-Ray.

I wish the characters weren't so cardboard.  Every one of them were stereotypes.  I understand that it's not "about them" but I think it would've helped my opinion of the movie if I cared more about the decisions they made in the final act.  The performances are all good (Rapace and Fassbender being the standouts), but they didn't really 'need' to be.

The score was most effective when it wasn't being used at all.  The first Alien film was about tension, and silence.  Prometheus is at its best when it follows that model.

My score?  8/10.  Definitely worth seeing on the big screen, but don't go in expecting a masterpiece.

New music -- May 8th

Two really good albums came out yesterday!

Storm Corrosion

This is a collaboration between Steven Wilson (Porcupine Tree) and Mikael Akerfeldt (Opeth).  Wilson's previous projects are varying levels of prog-rock, and Akerfeldt has taken Opeth down an increasingly proggy path as of late.  The album is very dark; think King Crimson in a padded cell.  But there are moments of beauty, as you can hear in this, their first single:




Cattle Decapitation -- Monolith of Inhumanity

I've written about these guys here before, when their last album released in 2009.  I liked The Harvest Floor quite a bit (and it made my honorable mention list that year), but it was also inconsistent in the songwriting quality.  That's not really an issue with this new one.  Every performance is top-notch, especially Travis Ryan's double-take-inducing vocals.  If their first video is any indication, I think this will be their year:




P.S. -- Another album came out yesterday, and it was from Silversun Pickups.  I loved Swoon (and ranked it #4 on my 2009 list), even if it was unapologetically a Smashing Pumpkins / My Bloody Valentine mash-up.  They brought the hooks, and that's all that really mattered to me.  But their new album?  Hookless.  It's also toothless, as they stripped away almost all crunch and added a lot more electronic elements.  That can work (and has worked for many bands), but without the hooks, it's meaningless.  Maybe you'll find more in it to like than I did, but I was left wishing they could've spent more time on the melodies instead of thickening the production.

So, what have you been listening to lately?

Random rants

Happy Earth Day!

You can always tell when it's about to be Earth Day.  How?  Every major TV station changes their logo in the bottom right corner to the color green.  See?  NBC cares about the environment!

People stopped talking about that Kony guy, so I guess that means they caught him, right?

Only one Coachella hologram joke is funny -- this one:

"The Mayans were right!  The world will end in 2012 because Dick Clark is dead!" -- every other post on Facebook last week

I'd quit Facebook, but I don't know any other way to cyber-stalk.

As if there aren't enough reasons to hate Texas -- I renewed my car registration online, and was charged $1 for a 'mail-in fee'.

If you are a staunch supporter of the designated hitter, we can never truly be friends.  Ever.

Remember when TLC used to stand for 'The Learning Channel'?  Does it still?  Because I don't want to learn about preschool beauty pageants.

Same for A&E.  There is nothing 'Arts' about Storage Wars.

I'm thinking of opening a gun range that requires its members to be liberal atheists.  Revenue projections will be conservative.

So, who do you think will win the AFC West this year?

I have a prediction.

Considering Denver won it with Tebow's dead-duck passing, it's gonna take some miracles on draft day for the other three teams to have any chance at all.  Well, that or a neck injury relapse.

... and yes, that's a LOT of forehead in that picture.

Samuel L. Jackson reads "Go the Fuck to Sleep" (Autotune)

This one goes out to the Midge, who reads this to his children on a nightly basis.



Props to Dave "The Hitman" for sending it to me.

My new obsession: Sherlock (BBC)

A while back, Lady Bling tried to get me to watch the new BBC version of Sherlock.  She explained the premise.  My response:  "Update Sherlock Holmes stories in the modern day?  What a terrible idea.  Seriously."  And it was on PBS's Masterpiece, which is almost always stuffy period drama crap that I don't care about.  But then one day, I caught the end of the first series finale during a rerun she had on in the background, and thought, "WHOA.  What have I missed?"  As it turns out, a LOT.

The scripts, the casting, the performances, the editing .... it's all top-notch.  So I bought the first series on Blu-Ray and it's amazing.  Each series is only three episodes, but each is 90 minutes with no commercials, so it's like watching three movies.  The first two episodes are very good, but the third is outstanding.  Then we tracked down the second series (which is already on region-free Blu-Ray in the UK but won't be on PBS in the States until May).  It's even better than the first.  The premiere episode (A Scandal in Belgravia) is some of the best television I've ever seen, and the finale ends with a cliffhanger that has large pockets of the internet trying to figure out what happened.

She won't get me to watch Downton Abbey though.  A man's gotta draw a line somewhere.

Why Tim Tebow Makes Me Uncomfortable

First, let me make one thing clear: this has nothing to do with any commentary on Tebow as a football player. In that respect, it has a lot in common with 97% of every thing written about Tebow. I'm not even going to take any cheap shots at Tebow the football player. I truly hope the Donkeys start him in every game for the next 8 years. They should totally do that. He is clearly an excellent NFL QB. There is absolutely no one better than him to fill that role. And, just to be clear, read those sentences again: if you read in sarcasm, that says something about you, not me, because I wrote them straight.

No, this is a screed about Tebow The Evangelical Christian. And, unlike many other screeds on this topic, this is written by an actual Christian. And, as a Christian, I want you to know: Tebow makes me uncomfortable.

This is largely for a single reason: I was always taught that the relationship between a person and his or her god is highly personal and private. You could get together once a week to commune (literally and figuratively) with God in the company of some like-minded individuals. But otherwise, you just didn't speak about it alot. Polite people didn't do that. Ever. Religion fit up there with money as subjects that you just didn't raise.

Now, in this Bachmann era, where wearing ones religion on one's sleeve is not only accepted but well nigh required, some might perceive my belief as quaint and old-fashioned. But the reality is that the current "being Christian for gain and profit" movement only underlines the importance of actual adherence to this old tradition. Whomever you are, your merits should be weighed on their merits (so to speak) rather than based on whether we both subscribe to the same flavor of Judeo-Christianity (look, if you come from a wholly different school, like Hinduism or Rastafarianism, you're screwed in this country. I'm not gonna lie to you).

Thus, every time Tebow Te-bows, to kinda-privately, kinda-look-at-me-ishily commune with his very specific variety of God, I shudder a bit. The same way I would if he pulled down his pants and took a dump. Some things are just not for public display. (Unless you're Japanese, apparently.).

By the way....

As you can tell, I've not posted anything political in quite some time.  Frankly, I'm fed up.  The Occupy protests only succeeded in one thing:  Causing the 1% to push through updates to the NDAA that allow 'indefinite detention' to Americans who are deemed 'terrorists'.  And Obama signed it.  He snuck it through on New Year's Eve, when he thought no one was paying attention.  And we just now got out of Iraq (technically).  And Guantanamo is still open.  And he extended the Bush tax cuts to the rich.  He's been more of a Republican than Dubya was.  Granted, he got that Healthcare thing passed (in a completely butchered and gimped form, and wasted all of his political capital to do it), and repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell, but neither of those affect the average citizen.  If he signs SOPA, I hope the Founding Fathers pop out of their coffins and feed on the brains of all three branches of government.

I haven't posted anything political because I'm disillusioned, but that doesn't mean I'm not paying attention.

Yet another Battlefield 3 video (this time, from the Xbox)

If you're not playing Battlefield 3 ... what's your excuse?

The footage is from the Xbox, and all taken from one evening of play.

The wonderful Lady Bling (not her real name) got me a Hauppage HD PVR for Christmas.  It was easy to set up, and works just like advertised.  Then I bought Adobe Premiere Elements 10 and have been learning how to use it.  It's not as full-featured as the more expensive editing programs, but it's a hell of a lot better than the free ones I'd been messing around with.

I hope your New Year has started off well.  Now, go use one of those giftcards your grandma gave you for Xmas and get Battlefield 3 for the Xbox, and hop on with us some night.  I'll make you famous!

P.S. Blogger.com has changed their interface, and you can't just paste embed code into the blog anymore.  That's why the video is smaller than the ones I'd posted previously.  Click the name of the video in the upper left hand corner to view it in all its teabagging glory.

Lord Bling's Top Ten Games of 2011

This has been an interesting year for video games.  Some titles that I'd feverishly anticipated ended up disappointing.  Some I thought would suck ended up impressing.  And a couple weren't very good at launch, but improved with patches.  While many on the list may not be in my rotation a year from now, I'd put this year's top 3 up against the top 3 from any other year.  But enough setup ... let's get into it:

10.  Call of Duty:  Modern Warfare 3.  MW2 was my #1 two years ago, and Black Ops was #3 last year.  My, how the mighty hath fallen.  Considering over half of Infinity Ward left the company (and it took four other dev teams to help finish it), it's practically a surprise that it ended up on my list at all.  But I have to say, the campaign tied up the plot threads fairly well (even if the gameplay is just Michael Bay on speed).  CoD Elite was a failure for weeks after launch, but the free version is actually pretty robust.  As for the multiplayer .... I'm severely disappointed.  Over the years, they've turned a solid fast-paced tactical shooter into Quake.  All of the maps are tight, run-and-gun close-corridor death traps.  This makes sniper rifles mostly worthless, and they had to nerf the range on the shotguns (or else that's all anyone would use, because you're rarely looking further than 15 feet ahead before you hit a barrier of some kind).  Kill Confirmed is a fun new game play mode, but the concept was stolen directly from Crysis 2 earlier this year.  All of these things aside, it's still as polished as any shooter you'll ever find, and it's still the top-selling game of this year so they're doing something right.  I just don't consider myself much of a fan of the franchise anymore.

9.  Crysis 2.  When I bought this game, I expected a gorgeous sci-fi shooter.  That's what I got.  But I didn't expect to enjoy the single-player campaign as much as I did.  I even got some time into the multiplayer.  Well, I did when EA's servers let me.  The MP was pretty much broken at launch, and when you could get into a game, the client-side hit detection was completely lop-sided.  Subsequent patches have improved it, but it's not a great experience.  Maximum Armor is a waste, and the unlock progression is a very slow grind.  Still, the campaign is worth the price of admission.  The pacing is almost perfect, and the set pieces are amazing.

8.  Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception.  Speaking of set pieces, here's a franchise that lives and breathes them.  No matter where Nathan Drake is in the world, expect everything to go tits-up and you'll be racing to escape a crashing airplane, a sinking ocean liner, etc.  They also included some multi-segmented MP maps, which felt different from everything else I've played this year.  So why isn't the game higher on this list?  Part 2 was #2 in 2009.  Unfortunately, this one doesn't live up to the gold standard of that game.  The campaign's story and dialogue aren't nearly as sharp, and weakly ties the set pieces together.  The aiming and shooting mechanic was tweaked, and now it felt a lot sloppier (Naughty Dog has since patched this, but I haven't replayed any of the campaign since).  Worst of all, I wasn't really rooting for Nathan in this one.  His motivation is largely selfish and stupid.  But wow, those set pieces.

7.  Assassin's Creed:  Revelations.  A franchise that has steadily improved over the last two iterations finally runs out of gameplay innovations.  AC2 perfected the exploration, tightened the combat, and deepened the story.  AC: Brotherhood added assassin's guild trainees you could call on to assist you, had a whiz-bang of a cliffhanger ending, and created a one-of-a-kind multiplayer experience.  I guess after the last two games, I was expecting another round of miracles.  Instead, we got a hookblade and ziplines, and a Den Defense mini-game (which is like a really bad and unbalanced version of Plants vs. Zombies).  The story ties a lot of threads together, but is still weaker.  The setting (Constantinople) isn't nearly as compelling or varied as Rome.  MP is improved and deepened, but still has a very high learning curve (and upper-level players have strong perks unlocked which throw off the balance).  But the game was improved so much up to this point that it still is a lot of fun to play, and free running in a Renaissance setting still hasn't gotten old.  But Ubisoft, please:  For the next one?  No more Den Defense.

6.  Gears of War 3.  Serious improvements all around here.  Four-player co-op (which the series has begged for since the beginning).  Dedicated servers for multiplayer (no more Host Shotgun rampages!).  An improved story that ties up many loose ends (although I could've done without the entire 4th chapter .... sorry Ice-T).  And the new bad-guy version of Horde mode (called Beast) is fun.  Being a Berserker and smashing through people got a lot of laughs out of me.  I haven't played it in a while, as the overuse of shotguns is still annoying, but I feel like I got my money's worth already.

5.  Jetpack Joyride.  An iOS game in my top five.  Yes, I did.  Don't look at me like that!  Have you played it?  If so, you wouldn't judge.  I've put over 20 hours into this stupid little 99 cent game.  I say 'stupid' because it's extremely simple.  One-tap gameplay, and that's it.  But somehow I can't quell the desire to get a better score (or more coins).  It's perfect for mobile gaming.  Tiny bite-sized experiences, with that 'one more quick one' that keeps pulling you back.  If you have an iPhone, you need to download it.  If you don't find yourself as hooked as I was, you're only out 99 cents.

4.  Dead Island.  Hands down, this is the biggest surprise on my list.  It's buggy, the combat feels unpolished, and a couple of the boss battles were uninspired.  But I'll be damned if I didn't put about 30 hours into it.  In a first-person RPG, the right atmosphere means everything.  This game brings it.  I felt like I was really on this island, struggling to survive and help those who were less fortunate.  There's no humor or tongue-in-cheek references; it's a bleak affair, right up into the final cutscene.  The co-op could use a little improving (it's no Borderlands), but it was playable and held some promise.  I hope we see a sequel of some kind, and that they have enough time to give it more polish.

3.  Portal 2.  Expectations can be a bitch.  When The Orange Box was released, Portal was the sleeper hit of the year, and for good reason.  The first-person puzzle gameplay was one-of-a-kind, and the writing was whip-smart and laugh-out-loud funny.  It not only told a compelling story, but did so in about two hours.  So here comes a sequel, which is around six  to eight hours long, and adds a meaty 2-player co-op mode.  And people still flooded Metacritic user reviews to complain.  "It's too short!  It's not worth $60!"  Wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG.  They added to an already deep and rich universe, with new gameplay mechanics that somehow don't break what had been established previously.  That alone is worth celebrating.  And then there's Wheatley, the best character in a video game in a long damned time.  I had very high expectations for this game, and it met every single one of them.

2.  Battlefield 3.  Let's get it out of the way right at the start:  This game was never going to out-sell Call of Duty.  Why?  Because A) the gameplay isn't simple enough to appeal to the masses, and B) those of us who play EA shooters online know their servers will be trashed at launch.  They even ran a beta which they claimed was meant to be a server stress test.  And sure enough, this game was unplayable on Xbox on Day 1.  It's a good thing I also bought it on PC!  That's right, I gave EA over $100 for this game.  And I have zero regrets.  Yeah, the campaign is a Call of Duty knock-off, but by the time the last two levels were over, I found myself with a slight appreciation for the way the story was handled.  The co-op grind to unlock weapons?  Not cool.  But the multiplayer.  The sweet, sweet multiplayer.  The only thing I miss from Bad Company 2 is the buildings you can bring down, killing everyone inside.  But this was meant to be a full sequel to Battlefield 2, not the Bad Company games.  I will be playing this game long into 2012.  In fact, I could sell all of my other games and not miss them this year.  Well, all but one....

1.  The Elder Scrolls V:  Skyrim.  This is the most immersive video game I have ever played.  It should come with a warning label:  "May cause a lack of sleep, decreased interest in bathing and eating, and a marked decline in contact with the outside world."  It's not a game you pick up and play for 30 minutes or an hour.  It's a game that becomes the world you live in, and the real world becomes a nuisance that is keeping you from Skyrim.  Shortly after it launched, I had a conversation with a coworker that I ended like this:  "What did I do last night?  Oh, nothing much, just KILLED A DRAGON BY SHOUTING AT IT."  How does anything in real life compete with that?

I haven't had the time lately to play the game like I want to, so I have been avoiding it.  Maybe part of me is even scared of it.  The world is just too big, and there is too much to explore and see and do and loot.  It's daunting.  The developers say there is up to 300 hours of content in the game.  Three HUNDRED.  I put about 100 hours into Fallout 3, and I put about 130 into Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.  Those were two of my favorite games of this generation.  And yet, at this time next year, I will probably have both of those combined on this, and I still won't see everything the game has to offer.

It's not flawless, but no game of this size and scope is.  However, the drawbacks are so small in comparison to what you get.  In fact, at the moment I can only think of one real negative:  I'm not playing it right now.


Honorable Mention (in alphabetical order):

-- Batman:  Arkham City.  This could've ended up on my top ten, but didn't for one main reason:  It didn't really add anything to the original besides a bigger environment.  Still a solid game though, and has polish to spare.
-- Brink.  I bought this game on sale, even after reading some rough reviews.  I wanted to like it, but the maps were lackluster, and the feel of the weapons was off (recoil was terrible).  Then later in the year, Steam had it on sale for $5 on PC.  I bought it, and then realized they'd patched it.  The weapons now feel much better, and the new maps are pretty solid.  Worth a look if you find it cheap; just don't expect a good single-player experience.
-- L.A. Noire.  I have a love / hate relationship with this game.  I really had to slog through the last few hours of this game, but when it was over, I was glad I'd played through it.  Part of what I didn't like was the lead character was unsympathetic, but looking back, I have to admit that he was compelling all the same.  And the motion-capture?  Ground-breaking.
-- Renegade Ops.  A fun throw-back to the 80's drive-and-shoot arcade games.  Four-player co-op online is a blast.  It's not a deep game, but it's only $15.  (Full disclosure:  I work for the publisher that released this.)
-- Saints Row: The Third.  I just got this game about a week ago, so perhaps it would've ended up higher on the list had I had more time with it.  But after about 90 minutes or so, I'm already enjoying it more than the first two.  It's completely over-the-top and zany, and it knows it and has fun with it.  I mean, they start you off with a purple dildo baseball bat.  I stand corrected; THIS is my Game of the Year!  Okay, maybe not, but I gotta give 'em credit for going the insane route.


Biggest Disappointments (in alphabetical order):

-- Dead Space 2.  The first game was a great survival horror experience.  Then we get this, which is 99% action and almost no suspense.  They also took away most of the ammo, so you're forced to use kinesis to throw objects at bad guys when you get cornered.  And you will get cornered a lot.  Plus, the story was a huge step down from the first.  And then there's the unnecessary multiplayer.  Some liked this game, but I miss the suspense and pacing of the original.
-- Rage.  What a beautiful game.  What boring gameplay.  It could've been Doom meets Fallout, but instead ended up being a bunch of lame fetch-and-carry missions.  It launched two months ago and is already below $20.  I'm sure id Software will have plenty of success with the engine, but that doesn't get me my $60 back.
-- Test Drive Unlimited 2.  The original was an innovative overachiever, streaming the entire island of Oahu for you to drive on.  It also was the first racing game I can remember that had on-the-fly, drop-in / drop-out multiplayer.  I put over 40 hours into it.  But the sequel fails to improve upon the original in any way.  The voice acting is laughable, and the character models are PS1-quality.


Well, that's it for the top ten lists for 2011.  Have a great holiday break, and we'll see you again in the year where it all ends.

Lord Bling's Top Ten Albums of 2011

It was a very good year for metal, but the top spot came from out of nowhere.

10.  Scale the Summit -- The Collective.  Instrumetal.  I hate the word, but that's exactly what it is.  I really liked their debut, but this one feels like it will stay with me longer.  And the production?  Top-notch.  Favorite Track -- Whales

9.  Mastodon -- The Hunter.  Their last album made the top of my list in 2009.  Perhaps it was a bit pretentious, but they had never been more ambitious.  When it worked, it really worked.  So it was impossible not to compare their new album to it.  It's more of a step backward in scope, and more inconsistent.  But it's still got some great jams on it.  Favorite Track -- Stargasm

8.  Crowbar -- Sever the Wicked Hand.  Their first album in six years also happens to be one of their best.  No experimental song structures or covers, just a really good sludgy hard rock album.  Favorite Track -- Liquid Sky and Black Earth

7.  Animals as Leaders -- Weightless.  More instrumetal!  I've written about Tosin Abasi twice on this site in the last year, and for good reason.  He's the most talented guitar player in metal today.  And that probably makes him the most talented guitar player on the planet.  This record isn't as shreddy as his debut, but it's probably more tasteful and inspired.  Years from now, I'll still reach for his debut first, but this one deserves to follow it.  Favorite Track -- Isolated Incidents

6.  Opeth -- Heritage.  The two-decade long transformation from death metal to prog-rock is now complete.  Gone are the growling vocals.  Gone are the 15-minute long songs.  Stripped down, jazzy, and something your parents might actually like.  And that's not meant to be an insult.  Having said that, I still miss the Watershed / Ghost Reveries style of prog-death, but Akerfeldt's talent and craftsmanship cannot be denied.  Favorite Track -- I Feel the Dark

5.  Anthrax -- Worship Music.  Finally, a true follow-up to Persistence of Time.  I like John Bush's voice, and I like some of the songs they wrote with him, but it just didn't feel like "Anthrax".  Now with Joey Belladonna back for the long haul, they sound re-energized.  A couple of riffs may sound recycled from older stuff ('Fight 'Em Till You Can't' is an awful lot like 'Gridlock'), but no matter.  Of the Big Four, they're the band that's still writing and recording the strongest material.  Favorite Track -- The Devil You Know

4.  Amon Amarth -- Surtur Rising.  This band has perfected their sound, no doubt.  With Odin On Our Side was the beginning of their ascent (and still my favorite of theirs), but this one is a close second.  I think the songwriting is tighter than their last one too.  And on top of all of that, they even stepped out and wrote a song that wasn't about Norse mythology.  Favorite Track -- Slaves of Fear

3.  Decapitated -- Carnival is Forever.  This Polish death band was starting to climb the ranks a while back, but then their insanely-talented drummer (and brother of the guitarist and chief songwriter) Vitek died in a bus accident.  They disbanded for a couple of years, but then Vogg decided they needed to continue, since it's what his brother would've wanted.  It's also what the fans wanted, and they deliver their most focused album yet.  Favorite Track -- Homo Sum

2.  TesseracT -- One.  A good vocalist can make or break a band.  This is true in most genres, but not quite as much in metal .... until now.  This album defies so many metal rules, and gets away with it.  The vocalist could probably go on American Idol and make the finals.  There isn't a single guitar solo on the entire album.  The lyrics aren't about death or evil demons.  But it's all about the hooks, and this album is full of them.  Think of what Meshuggah would sound like if Jeff Buckley were their vocalist.  It shouldn't work, but oh does it ever.  It's just too bad that they now have a new vocalist.  Favorite Track -- Concealing Fate Pt 1: Acceptance

1.  Anathema -- We're Here Because We're Here.  Buy this album.  Find a quiet corner where you will be undisturbed for an hour.  Put on a good pair of headphones.  Listen.

Released in the UK last year, it finally saw an official release here in the U.S. last April.  While they started in the early 90s as a doom metal band, they no longer feel bound to any specific genre.  If Pink Floyd were raised on trip-hop and prog-rock, this is what it would sound like.  The lyrics are as hopeful as any album I've ever owned.  It is beauty stacked on top of beauty.

A great work of art can change the way you look at the world.  When I play this album, I feel that there might still be hope for the human race.
Favorite Track -- Thin Air

P.S. -- With all the metal on the list this year, you might be wondering where the new Devin Townsend Project album is.  The readers on Metalsucks.net voted it the best metal album of the year, but I found it to be overproduced and lacking.  It pains me to say it, as someone who absolutely loves Devy's work.
P.P.S -- I also didn't include the new Cynic EP because well ... it's not a full album.  But if you've followed them over the years as I have, you have no excuse for not buying it.

Lord Bling's Top Movies of 2011

I added up the films I saw this year: 41. Pathetic. I count 57 from 2010 (although a few were seen this year).  Considering I used to see around 100, that's pretty weak. Granted, it was my job to watch movies for quite some time, but still. I don't feel like a true Top Ten list will be justifiable, since there's so much I haven't seen yet. But of what I have seen, here are my favorites (in alphabetical order):

50/50.  A perfect blend of comedy and drama.

Bridesmaids. A female 40 Year Old Virgin? It's close. The pacing is a little off at times and it feels long, but its heart is in the right place and there are plenty of laughs.

Captain America. Almost as good as the first Iron Man movie. Almost.  It has me really excited for the Avengers movie, so I'm sure it'll probably suck.

Crazy Stupid Love. Above-average script (even if the final reel is a little groan-worthy). However, good casting makes all the difference.

Hobo with a Shotgun.  A wonderful homage to the 80s action-gore genre.  Feels like the best Troma film ever made.

Horrible Bosses. One of the better raunchy comedies in some time. It knows what it is, and it isn't afraid to be just that. Charlie Day is flawless.

The Killer Elite.  This one surprised me.  The trailers made it look like another dumb Statham vehicle, but Deniro and Owen are well cast and believable.  Similar to The Bank Job, in that it has a lot more going on in it than you'd think.

Melancholia.  One of Lars von Trier's most mature works.  If you don't know who he is, you probably won't like this movie.  I didn't give a shit about the characters, but I was still drawn into the story.

Moneyball.  The Social Sports Network?  Same screenwriter, and same arms-length handling of the characters.  An appreciation for baseball will help.

The Tree of Life. Terrance Malick makes a movie about every decade.  If you're not a fan of his, you'll think this film has a similar run time.  Consider yourself warned.

Picking one out of the bunch, I'd say 50/50 was the best.  However, each of them are films I could see myself watching a second time.

Other films from this year that I enjoyed (i.e. "Honorable Mentions"):

Drive
The Ides of March
Limitless
Paul
Our Idiot Brother
Source Code

Something all of those have in common?  Good rentals, but not enough in them to warrant a repeat view.


Music and Video Game lists coming soon.....

GTFO 2011

Fuck you, 2011. You're the year I lost the last bit of faith I had in our government, you made a Bible-thumper the quarterback of my favorite team, and you took away the best pet I've ever known. I'm about to leave you for that hot chick, 2012. She might be super-hot if the Mayans were right, but we won't know until a year from now.

Speaking of 'super', I made a new Battlefield 3 video last night. I think it's super, thanks for asking!



I'm technically on vacation next week, but in between replying to ad-hoc work e-mails, prepping the house for the holidays, and Skyrim, I'll be writing up my year-end Top Ten lists. They'll be posted before Christmas this year, lucky you!

Review -- Saints and Sinners Tour (Dallas, TX -- 11/18/11)

Last Friday, I went to a metal concert featuring two up-and-coming openers, and an increasingly-popular headliner.


The venue was the House of Blues. It's my favorite place to see live music in Dallas. It's still fairly new, and in perfect shape. It's indoors, so no Texas hot weather shenanigans. And then there's the sound: It was built for live music, and has never been disappointing.

The first band to play was TesseracT. I've tweeted about them quite a bit, and their album 'One' may be high in my Top Ten at the end of the year. The simplest way to summarize their sound is if Jeff Buckley sang for Meshuggah. At least, that's how I felt about them before their vocalist on the album (Dan) left the band about three months ago. Apparently his priorities in life have changed. Uh, yeah, whatevers. The new singer (Elliot)? He's okay, but has nowhere near the range or power of his predecessor. Judge for yourself with these two videos. The first is from a live performance earlier in the year, and the second is something I taped from the show.

With Dan:


With Elliot:


Fans of the band have been split, but if you listen to Elliot and think he's as good of a singer as Dan, you're tone-deaf. Otherwise though, the band was very tight.

Then came Animals as Leaders:


Perhaps you remember my post from earlier this year, stating how Tosin Abasi is the Chuck Norris of guitars. Well, he got on stage and gave a roundhouse kick to the brains of every person in the venue. He is a virtuoso in every sense of the word. But don't just take my word for it:



I just wish the venue would've had a spotlight on him, so we could better see his pyrotechnics. But no matter. Their merch booth was swarming with business after their set. I'd hoped to track Abasi down afterward (to get a picture and shake his hand) but my friend that went with me to the show said, "I bet he's in the back room icing his hands down." No doubt.

Finally, there was Between the Buried and Me:


While I was never much into their first few albums, they have really grown on me in the past couple of years. They've started to show a more mature direction in their songwriting, yet still allow themselves to run wild with their influences. At times they sound like Faith No More, Rush, and Opeth hanging out at a carnival together. Everyone in the band has chops to spare, and it almost feels like normal song structure bores them. But somehow it all manages to stick together, especially on their last two albums (Colors and The Great Misdirect). If I had one complaint, it's the lack of vocal variety in the growls. However, he enunciates well, and in a live setting, it's appreciated.



This was the third time I've seen them live, and I think this was the tightest set yet. They looked comfortable in the headlining slot, and for good reason. They've gathered quite a loyal and growing fanbase, and all the touring in the past decade is really starting to pay dividends. I hope they stay as active as they've been recently, both in the studio and on the road.

Overall concert review? I'd give it an A-minus. Tesseract's new vocalist was a little disappointing, and more light on stage for Animals as Leaders would've been appreciated. However, it was easily worth the full ticket price.

25 Things I Learned While Traveling In Italy

Last week, Lady Bling (not her real name) and I arrived at our 10th anniversary of non-wedded bliss. To celebrate, we decided to do something we'd never done before: Travel overseas. We chose Rome as a place that interested both of us, and with about six weeks of lead time, I set up a week-long trip through a travel agent. It was a great vacation, and I'm glad we went. However, there are some things I learned that would've been helpful to know before we left. I'd like to share them with you, in case you ever go to Rome, or Europe in general. Or perhaps you've already been, and can relate. Either way, I'll be keeping many of these things in mind the next time I travel abroad:


1. If you’re going to a foreign country, buy a Rick Steves guide book. Use his suggestions for sites to visit, restaurants, etc. However, don’t follow his hand-drawn maps. Any hotel will have a free street-accurate one you can fold up and stick in your pocket. And trust me, you WILL need it.

2. If you can afford to, fly Business Class or First Class. On a 9 or 10 hour flight, the additional pampering and leg room will be appreciated. If you can’t do it both ways, at least do it on the way over, so you have a better chance to sleep.

3. If your travel agent recommends you stay at the Hotel Anglo Americano while in Rome, get a different travel agent. We were booking on short notice, so we took what we could get. Having said that, calling it a 3-star hotel is being awfully generous. I’ve slept in gutters that were more comfortable.

4. Hearing German spoken on the Lufthansa flights and at the connecting Frankfurt airport brought me back to the years I studied it. I actually started speaking it here and there too, which freaked out my better half on more than one occasion. However, I kept the goose-stepping to a minimum.

5. If you’re going to spend time at an outdoor monument like the Colosseum or Palatine Hill, do it earlier in your trip. If it rains, they close many of them all day (and usually the day after). We had an exclusive Colosseum tour scheduled on our last day, and didn’t get to do it.

6. Unless you’re only in town for a day or so, don’t do the ‘hop-on, hop-off’ bus tours. I thought we’d use it early in the trip to help familiarize ourselves with the city, but since we were there for almost a week, it wasn’t really necessary.

7. Do the Vatican tour last. Any other basilica you see in Rome will be a lot more impressive if you see them before St. Peter’s.

8. When you see a thousand masterpieces in a day, they start to blend together. Having said that, Michelangelo’s Pieta in person was just as amazing as I’d hoped. And he was 24 when he sculpted it. If you’re looking for a humbling experience, I highly recommend it.

9. Italians seem to speak with their hands less than Italian-Americans.

10. OMG, street vendors. They were on every corner, with their splat balls and scarves. I cursed their existence, until it rained one morning and I saw one outside the hotel entrance selling umbrellas. He had a big smile on his face, as if to say, “I gotcha.” And he did.

11. When in Rome, you can only say ‘When in Rome’ once before it’s no longer funny.

12. I’ve never seen so many Smart Cars in my life. And Fiat 500s, and Mini Coopers, and mopeds. The parking spaces in Rome are unbelievably small, and the roads are narrow, so it makes sense. I did see a few 5-series BMWs and a couple of Audi A7s, but minus a couple of crossovers, I didn’t see a single SUV.

13. Speaking of transportation: What Americans would consider a ‘near accident’, Italians consider normal driving. Bumper-to-bumper, and FAST. Our hotel was supposedly one hour from the airport. Our cabbie on the way back covered the distance in 25 minutes.

14. Last point about transportation: Whether you’re in a car or on foot, traffic lights are only a suggestion. Think Manhattan and you’re good.

15. Pickpockets and gypsies are supposedly rampant in Rome. I saw neither. Pulling out my hidden security wallet to pay for dinner always made me feel like an asshole.

16. Pizza in Italy doesn’t come pre-sliced. They hand you a butter knife, and what happens next is up to you.

17. A Piazza is a plaza, not a pizza.

18. MTV in Italy actually shows music videos. However, Jersey Shore was on one morning, and I felt like apologizing to everyone I met later that day.

19. Be prepared to hear ambulance sirens constantly. At first I thought there were a lot of people getting hurt, but then I decided there was one ambulance that just drove around the city all day, happily making its presence known.

20. The amount of graffiti in Naples was not nearly as disappointing as the amount of stray dogs running around. I was there for only an hour or so, but desperately wanted to start a rescue program.

21. Pompeii was a lot bigger than I’d imagined. It once housed around 20,000 people. We only got to see part of it in an over 2-hour tour.

22. I went to Pompeii expecting to see something that looked like an ancient Fallout 3, with ash and corpses everywhere. Instead, all I got was a couple of plaster molds and a bunch of old walls! Video games > real life

23. The older the American tourist was, the more likely they were to be rude to locals. I guess people get set in their ways, and don’t like to accept that things are different outside of this country.

24. McDonald's are WAY nicer in Italy than here. I was also impressed by the ability to substitute beer in your combo meal! As for the quality of their food, I’m happy to report: Crappy like everywhere else.

25. I probably shouldn’t have told the locals I’m from Texas. After hearing that, they gave me blank looks, and then started speaking a ... lot ... more ... slowly.


I took a few pictures. Okay, I took about 1,200 pictures (32GB memory card FTW). If you know me in real life, you may have already seen some of them on Facebook. If not, here are a few of my favorites:

Colosseum:

Dome of the Pantheon, from the inside:


Trevi Fountain:


Pompeii ruins, with Mt. Vesuvius lurking in the background:


Underneath the dome at St. Peter's Basilica:


Michelangelo's Pieta:


Seriously, he was 24 when he did that. When I was 24, I was running around Greeley masterfully hitting golf balls at houses and artistically pickling my internal organs.