Monday, October 10, 2005

Belated Welcome and Rants About PETA

Their love was strictly forbidden by state law...except in Arkansas, where this photo was taken.
Let me first take the time to welcome Mister Bling to the fray. He's been a constant contributor to the site from day one, and I figured I might as well add another perspective to the site. If you're interested in becoming a contributor, show us your skills in the comment section and you might find yourself writing here.
I have ranted about People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) for as long as I have been able to rant. With all the problems that we face in the world today with war, genocide, lack of healthcare for children, child abuse and the like, here is a group of people with screwed up priorities. An organization that wastes millions of dollars every year trying to keep me and other Americans from using their canines.
On Friday, something happened that was completely unexpected and hilarious. I have meetings on Friday, so I almost always have to grab a quick lunch. On Friday, I chose Kentucky Fried Chicken. They have these new flavors of sauce for their wings that are all out of sight. Two very saucy thumbs up, but I digress.
Pulling into the drive through at KFC, I was cutoff by an asshole in a Ford Explorer, who was in such a hurry, one had to wonder if he had diarrhea or something. As I sat in the drive thru waiting for my order, the guy hops out of his Explorer, and is wearing a chicken suit. I think "Wow, KFC has a really great idea for getting people's attention."
I continue through the drive thru and pick up my order. As I wait for the attendant to get my change, I notice a group of people at the front of the drive thru holding signs that say with pictures of dead chickens on them. This is the point where I KNOW that this is not a marketing campaign for KFC. I also see the guy from the SUV sitting in a wheelchair, portraying what I can only imagine is an injured chicken. I start thinking about how the chicken I'm about to eat will NOT need a wheelchair when I'm done with them.
As I start down the drive thru, a million thoughts cross my mind: 1) Yell 2) Throw your wings 3) Point out that thousands of animals are killed when you harvest soy beans to make tofu. I'm obviously nervous, and as I approach the end of the drive thru, a women descends on my car with a sign bearing the image of a dead chicken that says "Chicken is Murder".
Do I say something witty or offensive? Nope. All I can muster as she tries to hand me a pamphlet is "Chicken is good." In my moment of truth, face to face with those I despise, the best thing I can come up with is "Chicken is good"? Needless to say, I wanted to go back through the drive thru again, and replay the encounter, but it would have lost it's punch, so to speak. Next time, however, I will be prepared.

No comments: