Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Fun at the doctor's office!

I've never had much luck with doctors. Either I find a good one, and then I move out of town, or I'm stuck with a shitty one. Here in Dallas, I finally found a good one, so of course, he recently moved to Africa to work with AIDS patients. My new doctor wanted me to have a physical, blood draw, EKG, etc., since I hadn't had those things done in a while (it was my first EKG, actually). He even did a urinalysis, so it's probably a good thing I didn't blaze up with my brother when I was in North Dakota. Although it's been about four years since my last encounter with the sticky-icky, I still don't like handing my piss to a stranger, no matter how many letters he has after his name.

The office is typical of most doctors, in that it smells too nice (whoever invented aromatherapy needs to fall in a well and die), and has the worst music playing over the PA that you could possibly imagine. Worse than 'smooth jazz,' even. This office has the radio set to a 'romance' station. That's bad enough by itself, but all the songs on this station are about 'Baby come back' and 'Baby please don't go.' You know, the kind of stuff that makes even the biggest American Idol fan want to put a gun in their mouth.

Well, the doctor's office called me on Monday morning to schedule another appointment to go over my blood work, and since he told me last Friday that 'no news was good news,' I immediately started making myself sick with worry. Not only was I about to get bad news, but I had to step foot back in that waiting room. But what could it be? Low thyroid? My mom and dad both take medication for it. Cholesterol? Could be, but I work out and don't eat fast food as often as I could. HIV? I can count on two hands the number of women I've been with, and that's only using one finger on the other hand. But of course, that was what my mind started racing about, and the last thing I wanted was to star in a Family Guy skit. In fact, that guy has dark brown hair and a goatee too! Maybe I have the AIDS?!?

So I suffered through another 30 minutes of Hall and Oates and Chicago to hear that I have high cholesterol. My total number is 251, and my LDL is 151. Apparently, that's pretty high. What sucks most of all is, I'm only 31, I'm not overweight, and I'm pretty active physically. But apparently, I'm not active enough (I haven't been doing much cardio, just weight lifting and kung-fu), and I still eat too much food that's bad for me. So the doctor gave me three months to tighten down the diet, and work 30 minutes of cardio into my routine, three times a week at least, and if my cholesterol numbers get to a more manageable level, I won't have to be put on Lipitor or something similar. Still, if I test high again in three months, I think I'm gonna get a second opinion, but god DAMN. I hate trying to find a new doctor.

Speaking of a second opinion, I just found this link. Maybe my cholesterol isn't as bad as my new doctor thinks. My family has a history of heart disease, but that's the only risk factor I have. It's still higher than I want it to be, but are drugs the answer? He gave me a choice of getting on a cholesterol-reducing drug now, or trying diet and exercise. I'm going to give the diet and cardio an honest try for three months to see what happens, but there's a small chance that I found a shitty doctor again. Come to think of it, his exam room has a picture of his daughter with some fascist Texas senator. Yeah, maybe I DO need a second opinion.


Ryan the Angry Midget said...

I think Taco Johns in ND might be the reason behind your cholesterol. Mine is also high, but I'm short, fat, and don't eat right.

Lord Bling said...

Taco Johns could be part of it, or the ribeye I had the night before (although I fasted for 12 hours like they said to). I'm gonna eat nothing but plain salads and oatmeal the week before my next blood draw...

miles said...

Taco Johns is ok in moderation. Perhaps getting a triple order of Potato Ole's and a vat of Sour Cream to dip them in could be a little over the line.

The biggest adjustment to my diet (as told to me by the specialist) was to switch to Diet Coke. Because I'll die of diabetic complications sooner than a brain tumor, apparently.