Friday, April 25, 2008

How I can tell you're boring

Going back to college again has given me the opportunity to see how thing really haven't changed all that much in the last 10 years. Aside from having WiFi in the classroom, I am still annoyed by the same people I was annoyed with the first time through. Here is a partial list of the ways I can tell that either you or your parents are wasting thousands of dollars so that you can have the same exact perspective as everyone else, who are all completely different, just like you.

1) People who list Catcher in the Rye as their favorite book - I like Catcher in the Rye very much, but if you're in college and this is still your favorite book, all this tells me is that you haven't read anything except Sports Illustrated since high school. This is a battle cry for the psuedointellectual.

2) "What kind of music do you like?" "Oh, I listen to pretty much everything." Translation: I listen to whatever crap they play on the radio, and I don't have the balls to form my own thoughts and opinions on issues as basic as what type of music I enjoy. I have very diverse taste in music, but if you ask me what kind of music I like, I have no problem sharing my opinion. Apparently, 90% of college students are afraid to admit their taste in music is lame.

3) You're an independent - Have some conviction for Christ's sake. No one with an IQ this side of 70 believes and agrees with every issue that a single political party promotes. Being a member of one party doesn't preclude you from voting for anyone in the general election either. Basically, being a registered independent is just dodging your American responsibility to have an opinion. We're all independent, some of us just like to actually participate in the political process, instead of just being wishy-washy.

Why even bother to go to college if you just want to have the same ideas as the rest of the world? If you fall into any of these categories, here's a friendly public service reminder from Ryan the Angry Midget and Friends:

4 comments:

Lord Bling said...

I'm gonna go ahead and sort-of disagree with you on number 3. I'm a registered independent, but I'm not short on opinions when it comes to politics. I became a registered independent when I realized that the Republicans and Democrats are both full of shit. I just think the Democrats are less full of shit than the Republicans, so I tend to vote for them more often.

Also, being a registered independent in Texas allows you to vote in either party's primary elections.

Ryan the Angry Midget said...

The only reason you have to register independent is that you can vote in both primaries. No one votes in the primaries. Being a member of a political party does not mean you don't recognize the copious amounts of bullshit they heap on voters. Being an independent does mean that you have serious political commitment problems.

Lord Bling said...

Who wants to commit to a political party anyway? So what if I don't like Coke or Pepsi? The two-party system sucks.

Just because Republicans suck doesn't mean I'm gonna be a registered Democrat. They're not much better.

It's like Bill Hicks said, "Let me sum up American politics. 'I like the puppet on the left.' 'I think the puppet on the right is more to my liking!' 'Hey, both puppets are being controlled by the same person!' SHUT UP! Go back to bed America. Here, watch American Gladiators."

warm_machine said...

I identify more with the Democratic party; however the main reason I registered as a Democrat was simply to annoy the crap out of my staunchly Republican friend. She thought she made a convincing case for being Republican. The look on her face was worth choosing a specific party.