Thursday, December 22, 2005

CowboyLaw's Top 10 Dance Singles of 2005

Well, never let it be said that I can't jump on a passing bandwagon. Falling off the wagon, on the other hand, is more the Midget's business. So, with that, I, CowboyLaw, urban purveyor of all that is superfly, bring to you the top 10 Dance Singles of 2005. And I don't care when these were actually RELEASED. The point is, they hit the charts in 2005, so we recognize them this year. And most of these are available on iTunes, so don't bitch to me about finding them.

10. "Maybe" by Emma. This also wins in the category of "Best Single in 2005 by a former Spice Girl." So, yes, it is that Emma. The pop/rock version sucks, but the enhanced Dance version kicks ass. And if you disagree, you can bite me.

9. "Pure Imagination" by Ford (Wonka Trance Edit). A remake of the Willie Wonka theme song that lives up to the original movie's acid-trip roots. Spacey, psychedelic, and well done.

8. "Love on My Mind" by The Freemasons (Club Mix). Features one of the most mind-jacking chorus bass lines of the year (mind-jacking would be when you can't get the song out of your mind).

7. "Every Time We Touch" by Cascada. After the nice intro set, a fully-realized (if slightly stereotypical) dance slammer. Listen to it in the car on the way into work and tell me if you don't feel slightly better when you walk in the door.

6. "Come Rain Come Shine" by Jenn Cuneta (unreleased Radio-only version). Okay, it sucks that I'm including a version of the song that you can't get anywhere. But what sucks more is that Cuneta didn't release what is obviously far and away the best remix of this song. The radio-only remix adds in the original Wings lyrics during the break down in the last quarter of the song, and features a power dissolve/resolve coming out of that same break down that should give any thinking person goose bumps, it's so perfectly done.

5. "Ride the Pain" by Juliet (Low-End Specialists Dominatrix Remix). Okay, this song is hot. And a barely-disguised double intendre sung by a lithe European. What more are you looking for?

4. "Islands" by QED (Valentine Radio Mix). QED invested more heavily in lyrics for this song than most dance artists. And the drum background is not one of the three dance beats that seems to play behind 95% of all dance songs. Indeed, it's slightly Carribean.

3. "Freek U" by Bon Garcon (Full Intention Club Mix). The most frenetic dance song of the year, and the only one that features what seems to be a blend of synthesized electric banjo and someone plucking piano strings by hand.

2. "California Dreamin'" by The Royal Gigolos (Clubhous Single). Okay, it starts with some kind of satanic incantation (anyone who has any idea what this is, post it in a message). The Royal Gigolos proceed to cut California Dreamin' up and put it together upside down and backwards. It ain't pretty no more.

1. "One Night in Bangkok" by Vinylshakerz (Vinylshakerz XXL Mix). No contest, the best dance single of the year. Vinylshakerz destroys this song in the most artistic way possible. I had a high school girlfriend who loved this song and broke up with me for absolutely no frickin' reason whatsoever. I have a strong urge to track her down and send her this song just out of spite. I also recognize that two remixes of songs from the 70s/80s top my list. Really, that's to be expected: dance thrives on slicing and dicing old songs. Cabin Crew took the process to the verge of the ludicrus with their remake of "Waiting for a Star to Fall" when they sliced the opening lyric in half and repeated the opening line approximately 100 times during their 3 minute take on the song.

So there you are, the top 10 Dance singles of 2005. Pissed that I didn't include something from Narcotic Thrust? Unhappy over the absence of "Be My World?" Don't like my tie? Write it in the comments, nancy boy.

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