Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What not to expect when you're expecting


So our friend Miles and his wife are expecting their second child. I could take this time to make 'Pull the fuck out!' comments, or maybe even things like, 'They make rubbers for a reason.' Or maybe 'How much Rohypnol did it take?' I could even stoop so low as to make a Falcon Punch comment. But I wouldn't do anything that low. Not to a friend of the site!

I don't have children. I hope to God, Allah, and every other supreme being that I never do. But I realize that procreation is important for the continuation of the human race, so I wanted to take this time to share a bit of parenting wisdom with Miles (or to any of you who are planning on turning a woman's egg into a zygote in the near future):

Unless you want to explain the following pictures to your children:
























.... don't ask me to babysit.

6 comments:

The Miles said...

Amazing.

Lord Bling said...

Of course, this is just a small sample.

/in b4 Goatse, Tubgirl, and Lemon Party

CampBlood said...

That's a great starter list. How about a mom throwing her kids off an overpass or cutting off the baby's arms to protect it from the devil? We seem to have the monopoly on crazy moms here in Texas...

CampBlood said...

BTW, I had to steal the lightsitch for use on my blog. Greatness!

CampBlood said...

lightsWitch, that is...

Lord Bling said...

I saw the comedian Sean Rouse here last year, and he talked about that mom who cut the arms off of her baby. He said, 'I just think she was a really dedicated soccer mom.'