Monday, December 27, 2004

How people get to this website....

We're fast approaching two months of rambling and ranting, and the number of people frequenting the site is a lot more than I ever would have expected. The site is listed with Google, and a number of other search engines, which seems to bring people interested in all sorts of things to the site. As part of the data archiving service that I use to track hits and what web browsers people are using to view my site, I also receive a wealth of useless information such as what time zone you're in while you're reading this, what link you clicked to get here, and how much donkey porn you have on your hard drive.

About 3 or 4 times a day, someone types something unrelated to my site into a search engine, and end up at my website. Knowing the variety of keywords that link to this site is quite entertaining, and based on some of the links that bring people to my site, these people have to be terribly disappointed when they get here.

For example, some poor bastard searched for the email address for our friend from the UCLA Daily Bruin, Gilbert, and ended up here. I can't act too surprised about this one, since I repeatedly posted his email address on the website, so that fellow Wyoming Cowboy fans could include him in the revelry following Wyoming's dismantling of the Bruins. I hope whomever was looking to contact him found what they were looking for. His Mom already reads this site and emails me daily, so I know it wasn't her.

Some keywords are more entertaining. Take this one. To reach Ryan the Angry Midget, just enter AOL keyword Midget Clown Babysitting. Or Crazy Midget Babysitters. I hope those people found the right combination of short stature and insanity to suit their childcare needs. As an aside, the demand for my babysitting services has dried up since my Adventures in Babysitting post. I wonder why? I'm great with kids. Little bastards.

If the fact that people were looking for crazy midget clowns to look after their kids while they snort coke with Gary Coleman in the back of a limo in Jersey isn't disturbing enough, we also have visitors who are searching for midget clown videos and midget apartments.

The king of all searches that led to my site however, has to be the sick and very disappointed jackass that put "homeless whores" into Yahoo, and ended up at my Guide to Finding the Perfect Apartment. I can't imagine sitting down at the computer and thinking "Ok, I need to pay the cable bill, check the score of the Wyoming game, and find some homeless whores." For those of you looking for a niche in the internet website market, you can note the obvious shortage of websites providing information about homeless whores, since my website is the 60th one listed under that search. Maybe someday, if include pictures of some of the girls I dated in college, I can crack the top ten in that search category.

And what about the guy who did the search (because we all know it was a guy)? Talk about persistence. If I don't find a website pertaining to the Teletubbies within the first 10 listed, I refine my search. I don't go SIXTY sites deep, so that I can end up on some trashy website where all some midget does is bitch and complain about other people's opinions. Maybe try homeless crack whores or homeless whores on bikes. Those always seem to work well for me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

How'd you find out about the donkey porn?? That was supposed to be a secret! At least Ben hasn't discovered where I've hidden the goat porn yet.....heheheheh.....

CowboyLaw said...

The preceding post is no long accurate.

Anyone know a good divorce lawyer?

Anonymous said...

This helps verify for me that the internet is still being used in the way that was originally envisioned: Porn and gambling.

Anonymous said...

I believe the search that I used to find your site was for crazy midget clown whores.