Monday, October 02, 2006

Goddammit I hate Texas (and other random tangential crap)

I know, I know. I haven't posted much lately. I could lie and say that my social calendar has been booked, but I think you know better. I also haven't felt inspired enough. Well, sometimes all it takes is to read a thing like this.

Fucking Texas. I flip Ryan shit all the time for living in Nebraska, but other than having easier access to major sporting events and concerts, Texas isn't any better. Seriously. These fucking hicks want to ban a book about the burning of books .... because of the language in it. Honestly, I haven't read much of the bible, but what I did read contained more drinking and violence than Bill O'Reilly's fictional doorstop.

So let's assume you didn't get a lot of book-learnin' in skuul. You don't even have to read the article. Just look at the picture of them. The worldwide stereotype of the ignorant overweight American continues. Terrorism doesn't scare me; that stereotype is the real reason why I'm afraid to travel abroad. I don't want to go through customs in another country and have to say, "Yes, actually, most Americans ARE lazy, overweight, ignorant fucks." If you don't believe the stereotype exists, all you have to do is spend 15 minutes with the PSP game called 'Loco Roco'. Don't just write it off as one of those quirky Japanese games, take a closer look. You control a blob that eats, and gets bigger. The world it lives in is in danger of being destroyed, but so what? The blob needs to eat as much as it can, to get as big as it can.

They even colored him yellow, like the yellow ribbon magnets I see on every other vehicle in this state. You know, the ones that WEREN'T EVEN FUCKING MADE IN THIS COUNTRY. Why didn't they just make that blob drive a Ford F-350 dualie with a gun rack in the back window and a bumper sticker of Calvin pissing on an Arab?

(takes a deep breath)

Whew, sorry. Okay, where was I? Book ban, right. Got it. So what makes this worse is I actually have to travel to Conroe for work in about two weeks. I'm thinking of bringing my new copy of Fahrenheit 451 with me on the flight. You know, the one with all the bad words in it.


Lord Bling said...

Instead of making a post called 'Goddammit I hate Texas Part 2,' I'll just post the link here.

'Undercover cops' ... on a raid in a sex shop? And that's the best they could do? Kick 'em off the police force.

Miles said...

Hiliarity ensues in Georgia

H.C.P. said...

I was about to post that same story. While I think that Harry Twater has a better story line, isn't the Harry Potter series responsible for the increase in reading amongst children? I mean, not solely responsible, but it did go a long way to that end, did it not? I guess Georgians enjoy there stupidity. Hey, I have an idea. Let's go down there and start putting creationism in the school system!! Who's with me?

CowboyLaw said...

Yeah, can't relate. Cuz I live in CA. Say what you want, but in the battle of the stereotypes, it IS better to live in a state run by hippies than by fascist evangeliceal rednecks.

And it's currently 65 degrees.

And that's the forecast for the next several months.