Absolut NASA

Party at zero gravity

A report from a panel appointed to investigate NASA's policies related to astronauts was released this week. Basically, astronauts are not only crazy, as evidenced by Lisa Nowak's cross country diaper run to kill the hypotenuse in her love triangle with another astronaut in February, but they also like the hit the sauce before they fly the space shuttle.

We shouldn't really be surprised by all this drinking and carrying on really. At this very moment, many of you are likely making plans for how you're going to chemically dispose of your work week with alcohol and other substances. However, I doubt very much you're doing this while you're at work. If you are, send me the number for your Human Resources Department ASAP.

I wouldn't expect astronauts to behave any better than I tend to behave. Particularly given that before flights, they are often sequestered for long periods of time. But, I also don't fly a million dollar piece of equipment paid for with tax payer money that is so fragile that I think the wings are actually made out of the same foam as the cooler you keep fishing bait or dead hooker parts in when you go to the lake.

The drinking might explain, however, how an astronaut could stare this woman in the face and think about sex

So here's a toast to you NASA. May all of your spacewalks be drunken spacewalks and may you never drive cross country in diapers to kill your boyfriend's mistress only to be arrested and publicly humliated on this blog.