Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Swimming must be REALLY easy, Michael Phelps

I don't know what you do for a living, but with all the Olympic hype about Michael Phelps lately, I've been thinking about taking up a career in swimming. If one guy can win 11 gold medals over two Olympics, the competition must not be that strong. Maybe what Michael Phelps needs, aside from cosmetic surgery on his ears, is some competition.

I like to swim, although I've never tried to do it quickly. I've done a lot of swimming in my life, though. For example, there was a summer a few years ago where all I did was sit in a swimming pool and drink beer for about 3 months. I'm basically like a fish, only I'm human. I might have to shave my chest afro to reduce drag, but how much more would it mean if I won a gold medal WITHOUT shaving my chest hair?

Watch out Michael Phelps. Next time you throw on your Speedo and head out to the pool, watch for the Angry Midget. I'll be the hairy one swimming in front of you the whole way.

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