Whooooops!

Listen, I'm going to be very up-front here: the Chiefs SUCK this year. Really. I mean, we're going to be lucky to go 8-8. QB problems (even aside from our injured starter), OL problems, plus LJ has been pretty unpredictable in terms of performance. The Donkeys, on the other hand, look pretty good. I mean, they won't win the AFC West, because they're not the Chargers. But it's possible they'll be a wildcard team and get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.

But not if they play the way they played today. Playoff teams don't lose to 0-3 dogs. Playoff teams don't get blown out by 0-3 dogs. Playoff teams beat 0-3 dogs. They HAVE TO. Because you only play 16 games, and even playoff teams only win about 12 of them. And if you can't beat 0-3 dogs, who are you going to beat?

So, Chiefs fans have a little bit to celebrate. Not much, because the team still sucks. But they played pretty well today. And Donkeys fans need to ask themselves: is this just a 1-game misfire, or do the Donkeys have deeper-seated problems? If it's the former, how does the team keep from doing it again? Because the Donkeys are about 4 more losses away from not making the playoffs. If it's the latter, prepare for a long season of Donkey-based disappointment. I should know---I've been there.

McCain Wins Debate! ...... (Wait ...what? The debate hasn't happened yet?)

Yup. That was an ad on today's Wall Street Journal online edition. Do older people have problems being 'premature?'

Oh c'mon. You knew there was a dick joke coming.

Here's the ad in it's natural habitat:



Why watch the debate? It's already over!

Undecided voters are like that girl you dated in college who couldn't decide between Denny's and Applebee's

With the clock ticking down to the Presidential election in November, I continue to be amazed about the percentage of voters who are undecided about their choice for who will be the next leader of our country. Granted, it's like 4-5% in the latest polls, but to me that means that 4-5% of people they polled can't wipe their own asses.

I personally think if you are undecided in this election that you're either dead or an idiot. I don't want to hear a bunch of bullshit about how neither candidate is particularly a good choice. That's the very definition of a cop out. When have we had a presidential election during our lives that hasn't been a choice between a giant douche and a turd sandwich? Quit pretending that the way our political system works would result in anything other than two really rich political insiders being the candidates. We all recognize this fact, some of us just recognize that intelligent people can still make an informed decision about who would do the best job. And I think Obama is probably the best candidate we've had since Clinton, but I'm a commie pinko liberal, so take that for what it's worth.

This election, in particular, makes me even more irate that some people can't seem to decide. For the first time ever, you have two candidates that are pro-choice and pro-stem cell research, so unless you're going to right in Ron Paul or something equally idiotic, quit trying to tell me that because Palin is McCain's running mate that you're still voting against abortion when you vote for McCain. Conservatives are really showing that abortion is just a wedge issue that they've used to their advantages to gain support from naive voters who don't realize that who they elect for President has no bearing whatsoever on whether or not a woman can choose to have an abortion. In case you haven't noticed, we've had the most pro-life administration (at least when it comes to domestically-conceived fetuses and not children who live in Iraq), and abortion is still as legal as ever. Those of you who really care about abortion have been had. Bamboozled. Stop using it as your candidate litmus test.

Instead look at the economy. John McCain's campaign manager was on the payroll for Freddie Mac until August. You know, one of the giant mortgage companies involved in the current economic crisis right? I'm not sure how McCain has any credibility on the economy. And his running mate has been playing way too much Command and Conquer: Red Alert, believing that Russia is our next largest enemy, to notice the economic crisis. Apparently, Palin actually believes that Alaska's proximity to Russia = foreign policy experience. That's like saying because I work in a hospital that does surgery that I have surgical experience. Let me tell you that you do not want me operating on you.

Issues that would help people to become decided abound. At this point, if you haven't decided, the only message that you're sending is that you're not smart enough to evaluate the issues.

Video of the Week -- chase scene from 'District B13'

Here's a hyper-kinetic chase scene from the French action film 'District B13'. It was released on DVD in 2005, and was produced by Luc Besson (La Femme Nikita, The Professional). The person being chased in this scene is one of the original inventors of the sport/art known as 'parkour', or sometimes also referred to as 'free-running.' If you like what you see here, track the movie down and give it a rent sometime. The cover art is pretty bad, and the plot is a thinly-veiled rip-off of 'Escape from New York', but the pacing is fantastic, and it's got some of the best stunt work I've seen in a film in years (as evidenced by the clip you're about to see):



P.S. This video clip is in French with no subtitles, but the DVD and Blu-Ray both are subtitled in English, or have a really bad English-dubbed track for the illiterate...

P.P.S. We'll just go ahead and make it a Video Double Feature this week. Here's another action scene from the same movie. Visceral, well-edited, and completely over-the-top:

Now HERE'S some polling results

Never mind Gallup or CNN. How are Obama/Biden and McCain/Palin tracking with Xbox Live members?

Obama/Biden -- 43%
McCain/Palin -- 31%
Undecided -- 13%
Other -- 13%

Over 100,000 voted in the poll, although I'd be curious as to the average age. I'm also curious to know who the 'Other' voters wanted. Ron Paul? Ross Perot? If it's the 'enlightened' children I usually end up in a lobby with, they probably wrote in David Duke.


A definite positive out of all this is over 55,000 people registered to vote through Xbox Live or Xbox.com. I wonder how many of those will vote? Or how many of them wouldn't have registered without the service?

Video of the Week -- Ernie and Bert go Brutal

Video of the Day may not be the greatest idea for this site, since we don't get as many posts or hits as we used to, so instead of flooding it with video clips, I'm gonna switch it up to Video of the Week. Here's one that you'll all like, even if you don't like heavy music:

Video of the Day -- Letterman at Taco Bell

Hello there everyone. I'm gonna start something here called 'Video of the Day', where once a day, we post something funny, weird, or informational. Maybe it'll give us all a reason to come by on a daily basis?

We'll start this off kinda light:

You can put lipstick on a liar...

I'm sure that all of you reading this have probably heard numerous times about the statement that Joseph Goebbels, Minister of Propaganda for Hitler's National Socialists, made about telling lies. To review, he averred that " If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it." Now, I don't begin to morally equate Sarah Palin or the folks running John McCain's campaign with Hitler or the Nazi party, but it seems like some of them are well-versed on Joe Goebbels' philosophies. The most glaring case in point is the oft-repeated and unwavering assertion that Sarah Palin took the high ground against earmarks and pork barrel spending by defiantly telling the federal government that she didn't want their dirty money for the famous "Bridge to Nowhere". I'd never even heard of this bridge before Sarah Palin's acceptance speech at the Republican Convention, but she and McCain and the G.O.P. have been putting this thing up in lights since then. It's as if this bridge thing has become a signature characteristic of Sarah's, and it's supposed to demonstrate to us all her credentials as a reformer and maverick against the Old Boys Club and Government As Usual. I won't be surprised if they starting writing it across the sky in letters hundreds of feet tall.

What baffles me is the fact that they keep trotting this story out when it has been demonstrated from Day One of the McCain/Palin ticket that the campaign's official version of the story is a lie, or at the very least a blatant effort to distort the facts and mislead those who hear about it. On the radio, on the television, and in print, I keep hearing and reading what really happened. In a nutshell, Sarah was all about getting a bucket full of federal dollars and building this bridge in Alaska until she found out that the feds were going to make Alaska go Dutch on the project, and her support was suddenly a negative thing. At that point, she did the politically expedient thing and declared that she was against waste and excess, and Alaska never wanted that bridge anyway. According to published accounts, first she was for something, and then she was against it. Why does that sound familiar? Oh, yeah! That's the kind of behavior that Republicans were calling "waffling" at the time of the last presidential election. And weren't they saying something about how we shouldn't have as a national leader someone who waffles and can't make a decision and hang onto it like grim death? But I'm getting off on a tangent, and this waffling thing isn't what I'm aggravated about. What I'm aggravated about is that Palin and the Republicans running the McCain campaign are insisting on telling a skewed version of the story. They are ignoring the truth and the fact that some are even calling them liars. Instead, they seem to be banking on the hope that Joe Goebbels had the inside track on human nature, and, if they tell the same lie enough times, everyone will believe it is the truth...or at least give up on fighting it.

To be honest, I don't care that much that Sarah Palin was looking to gouge the government for a bunch of money. Elected officials do it all time. That doesn't excuse it, but it doesn't make Sarah Palin any worse that most representatives in the higher levels of government. I do care that she is distorting the facts to make herself appear to be better or different, though. And I do care that the McCain/Palin campaign thinks we're too stupid to figure out the truth. Call me self-centered, but I feel it's insulting to me personally. One shouldn't expect to get away with bullshit like that in the Age of Information.

In addition to what Goebbels said, I read another quote the other day that I think describes this whole thing to a 'T'. Jacques Ellus once said that “(Propaganda) proceeds by psychological manipulations, character modifications, by creation of stereotypes useful when the time comes - The two great routes that this sub-propaganda takes are the conditioned reflex and the myth”. The Republicans are make a huge deal of the Bridge to Nowhere issue, and, in my opinion, they are making every effort to perpetuate a myth about it. And one man's myth-building is another man's lying.

To put a different spin on recently reborn piece of homegrown wisdom...You can put lipstick on a liar, but she's still a liar.

What does Sarah Palin like more than making babies?

Pork. And I'm not talking about the incredibly tasty and versatile meat that comes from pigs. The Palin/McCain ticket is turning out to be quite the contradictory experience.

-He's pro choice. She's anti-choice and includes making babies as her favorite past-time.

-He's looking for budget and political reform. She has been part of the problem as Gov. of Alaska. "Palin has sought about $450 million in earmarks from the state's congressional delegation since becoming governor, and about $27 million for Wasilla during her second term as mayor from 1998 to 2002, according to state records and documents from the Washington-based watchdog group Taxpayers for Common Sense."

-She's on the ticket for her sex appeal and extreme conservativism. He's on the ticket because he's old and white and all the other Republican nominees were just a little more bat-shit crazy.

Probably the least shocking part of the whole thing is how quickly the true colors are shining through for the Republican party. Palin even has Dr. James Dobson saying it's Ok for teenagers to get knocked up outside of marriage, as long as we have a Republican in the White House. That goes to show that the guiding principles of the Republican party aren't family values, but self preservation.

And the hits just keep on comin' from The Daily Show

The Daily Show on Sarah Palin

Thanks to Miles for sending the link.

Benedict Lieberman

I do not have a whole lot of time to write an intricate post; however, I couldn't not put something up about this. Ol'Ben Lieberman is the biggest turn coat since the man whose name he now bears, thanks to yours truly. I cannot believe that we once considered this man for the vice presidency. I have seen countless interviews with him stating that the democrat party has lost it's way, and how we don't hold true to our core principles and values anymore. I have only one thing to say to that, "hey kettle, your black." This worthless motherfucker, yeah I said it, has done everything he can to bring down the party that help to put him in the position that he so enjoys today. And not only did he come out and endorse McCain, but he proceeded to lick Sarah Palin's boots to go along with it. I never thought that I would see him anywhere endorsing a radical pro-life, pro-gun, anti-government candidate with a straight face. Eloquence may be no substitute for a record; but at this point, it's a welcome substitute to the current shoot first ask later politics we so enjoy today.

Hypocrisy: A case study

You all know how I feel about PETA. It's not really a secret that I think if you belong to PETA, you're a hypocrite unless you grow your own food and don't drive a car. I got a kick out of PETA's recent advertising campaign to spay and neuter your dogs, which I actuall agree with completely. The interesting part is featuring professional penis holster Jenna Jameson in the nude. Now I KNOW this girl eats meat because I've seen the footage. She might not ingest meat from animals, but she's probably spent half of her adult life with some dude's meat in her mouth. Not exactly a ringing endorsement against eating meat.