Saint Jude Thaddeus Named New Director of Homeland Security

The Bush Administration named Catholic Saint Jude Thaddeus the New Director of Homeland Security earlier this week. Previously, St. Jude Thaddeus was the patron saint of lost causes and impossible situations. Here is a bio. It's not that I don't think terrorism is a threat. It's not that I don't think we can prevent terrorism. I just don't see how pissing all over the Arab world, killing thousands of innocent people, and locking only our airports down like Fort Knox is good homeland security.

If you're ever having a conversation with a Bush supporter, and you want an example of how his persistence and self-righteousness has a negative impact on our country, try this one. It's been months since they concluded that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, no imminent threat, no chemical and biological weapons. And we're just now calling off the search? That's a pretty stellar response time. The Fire Department in Lingle, Wyoming (Population 200) could have responded faster, and they're drunk about 96% of the time.

It would have been much easier (not to mention less expensive and deadly for thousands of people) just to admit that he didn't like Saddam, and that's why we invaded Iraq. Instead, he sent Powell in front of the UN with satellite photography of grain silos and anhydrous ammonia tanks from a farm in Crawford, Texas in a Power Point presentation, and lied to the world.

The best part: No one cares. Randy Moss pretending to moon the crowd at Lambeau Field is front page news to Fox, CNN, and the Green Bay Daily Cheesagram, but the completely futile, 2 year search for Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction that resulted in countless deaths and assured us to experience a whole new generation of terrorism? Try page A15, next to the story about the woman in Cleveland who was mauled and killed by her cloned pet cat.