Friday, April 21, 2006

Brett Favre needs to quit whining and retire already


Brett Favre is regarded by some, particularly those who live in Wisconsin, to be one of the greatest NFL Quarterbacks of all time. I suppose if your sister is the prettiest girl you've ever seen and your dad is the smartest guy you've ever met, I can see how someone could believe that. Otherwise, holding such an opinion puts you in the same category as all those people in Alabama who think NASCAR is a sport. You want an idea for an impossible scavenger hunt? Load up a group of friends and head for Lambeau Field in Green Bay or Taladega Raceway in Alabama and see who can find a person with a full set of teeth.

Lately, Favre has been Mr. Mysterious about whether or not he will retire. You see, getting paid millions of dollars to play football is really tough, particularly when in the previous year, you set career marks for interceptions and losses as Favre did last season. I can't imagine sports talk radio in Wisconsin has gotten off the topic since Favre's last game, January 1st in Green Bay. Those poor cheese chuggers won't know what to do if Favre retires.

What I am tired of is Favre acting like his decision about whether or not to come back and play next year is so damned critical in the grand scheme of things. Farve's obviously been listening to way too many of those Wisconsin talk radio programs and is having delusions about the value of what he does. Aside from setting off waves of domestic violence across Packerland every time he loses a game, what Farve decides to do as far as his career has a miniscule impact on the lives of the average American. Brett is acting like he has to decide whether to wake up tomorrow and cure cancer, when really whether he comes back and sucks or whether the Packers have a new quarterback that might suck a little more or a little less is pretty irrelevant to the grand scheme of things.

Someone should remind Favre that outside of Wisconsin, people have real problems. Millions of people don't have jobs at all. Do you think they care if Favre comes back to play football? I know if I didn't have a job, that would be about the last thing on my mind. How about all those soldiers in Iraq, fighting for their lives? They might be dead the next time Favre takes a snap, so something tells me that they couldn't give two shits if that old, Vicodin-addicted douchebag decides to come back to play another year.

Favre should be happy he's had the talent and the opportunity, and that he's not taking bullets in the ass for Bush over in Iraq or living in a shack, jobless, banging his sister, like so many generations of Favres before him.

9 comments:

brenwah said...

Well said - FYI - as a Wisconsinite I get to hear more than my fair share of "if I was the GM of the packers I'd tell Farve to kiss off". My point being, most of the people that I talk to here in the cold tundra don't seem to want him to come back anymore.

Ryan the Angry Midget said...

Brenwah is absolutely one of the finest individuals in the world, which makes him the finest individual in Wisconsin. And he's leaving Wisconsin...their loss is Washington's gain. Maybe Brett Favre will come with you?

Lord Bling said...

My only question is, "Will Favre pull a 'Roger Clemens' and not make a decision, even after the season starts?

CowboyLaw said...

Hmm....I read the Midget's opening paragraph, but I replaced "Brett Favre" with the name of a certain other QB.................

/unnecessary flame-bait on.

Ryan the Angry Midget said...

Yeah, except Elway went out on top. Like a man. Not setting career marks for interceptions and losses like Favre. Nice try.

Lord Bling said...

I hear the Chiefs are trying to trade up in the draft, so they can get Vince Young. Not because of his on-field ability, but they heard that he got a six out of 50 on his Wonderlic test.

H.C.P. said...

I thought it was 5 out of 50??? Is that extra point because he actually spelled his name right on the test this time?

Miles said...

The Chiefs aren't smart enough to make good draft picks, so they wanted Vince's intellect to up their decision making ability.

Good luck with Cutler and Walker.

Lord Bling said...

Assuming Walker's knee holds up, Denver got a steal by only giving up one pick for him. Cutler could develop into a fine QB someday. I just hope he doesn't start throwing interceptions with his other hand in big games like Jake the Fake.