I'm not a religious person. In fact, I'm what one would call a 'heathen.' You can believe whatever you want to believe, and that's fine, as long as I can believe what I want to believe. So what do I believe?
I believe that Pat Robertson is fucking insane.
Asking a woman about her sex life cured her asthma? Like Tom Cruise, apparently Pat Robertson knows the history of psychiatry.
If the media is so liberal, why do they keep talking to this dipshit? For the unintentional laughs? True enough, the man has provided some of the most absurd quotes in the history of the English language. They'd be funny, except that there are actually people who watch The 700 Club for reasons other than comedic value. There are those who believe that God speaks through Herr Robertson. Yes, this is the world we live in. According to Pat, God has had some major revelations over the years.
He doesn't think there's anything in the Constitution about the separation of church and state. Maybe he doesn't count the amendments. That's too bad, cuz I kinda like that first one.
He calls for the assassination of political leaders. Apparently, Venezuela is a hotbed of Communist sympathizers and Muslim extremists. The last time the surveillance experts checked, their government is a federal republic, and 96% of their population are Roman Catholic. Oh, and there's that whole 'Thou Shall Not Kill' thing. You'd think God would stick to his own commandments. Or are they like the Constitutional amendments?
He says that Spongebob Squarepants is gay, but where was God all those times when Bugs Bunny dressed in drag, or when he tried to marry Elmer Fudd? They've been re-running those cartoons for decades now.
He says that Tinky-Winky from the Teletubbies is gay, but ...
Okay, he can have that one. The target demographic for the Teletubbies doesn't even know the clinical term for the pee-pee, let alone where God wants them to put it, but I digress.
So I guess God cares a LOT about 'buttsecks.' I'd like him/her/it to start paying attention to some more pertinent issues. Darfur, for instance. How about the countless lives lost over a piece of holy land? Or maybe even Iraq? These problems were created by man, but man seems ill-equipped to solve them. If God really loved all creatures on the Earth, you'd think he'd start working on some of the Earth's biggest problems. Aren't we due for some divine intervention? Maybe God needs to stop competing with the current U.S. President on who can take more vacation time. Or are we all doomed to lie in the bed that our leaders continue to shit in?