Tuesday, January 22, 2008
So long Fred Thompson! Today, after getting his ass kicked across the US by the other Republican candidates for President, Fred Thompson is calling it quits. Yes, Fred Thompson who has the dubious distinction of being the most conservative horse in the Republican race for President, which is like being the sluttiest girl in Paris Hilton's circle of friends: not something to brag about. Thompson also has starred in such TV shows as Matlock and Law and Order, as well as great movies like Curley Sue and Feds. What an interesting man!
You may not realize it now, but Fred Thompson leaving the race is a wonderful thing for everyone in the whole world. Why you ask? Because he's COMPLETELY FUCKING CRAZY! He makes Huckabee look like that transgendered Green Party candidate that Cowboy Law voted for for San Francisco City Council election last year. He makes Reagan look like a brain surgeon. And the scariest part of all of that is that given how weak the Republican candidates are and the relative strength of the Evangelical section of that party, Thompson was one Mormon backlash away from being a contender. If that doesn't scare you, you're either on crack or a nihilist.
The good news is we don't have to worry about Fred Thompson anymore. The bad news is that the leading Republican candidate wears special underwear and belongs to a religion that openly supported the notion that black people are evil until like last August.