Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The internet is the ideal medium for picking on Amish people

If you ever wanted to say something bad about an Amish person, the internet would obviously be the ideal place to do so. You could write anything you wanted, and they would never know about it. If an Amish person ever came up to you and said "Hey, jackass, I read what you wrote on your website about me!" I would be like "On what? Your computer powered by horseshit and prayers?"

The hard part is that I can't even imagine what you could say that would be bad about Amish people. They live their lives the way they want. They actually believe in and practice peace, something that many Christian people have a tendency to ignore, particularly when voting. Amish people just want to live simple lives, like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. We have free reign to say whatever bad things we want with no consequences, and it turns out you can't really bag on them after all. Now that's a conundrum.


CampBlood said...

You have just received the "Amish Virus." As we don't have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Amish Computer Engineering Dept.

God bless!

Cowboylaw said...

Now, technically, the teenage wildin' Amish have full computer use rights. They also, according to news reports, sometimes deal cocaine. Both of which are hilarious.

Ryan the Angry Midget said...

Just like Dr. Rocko, the clown that does cocaine.

Lord Bling said...

You mean Dr. Roxxo?

Seriously. A LOT of cocaine.

CampBlood said...

Here's all you ever wanted to know about Amish laptops...

CampBlood said...

Top Ten Amish Spring Break Activities

1. Drink molasses 'til you heave

2. Wet bonnet contest

3. Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy

4. Buttermilk keggar

5. Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really rad Clydesdale

6. Get a tattoo: "Born to raise barns"

7. Cruise streets of Belleville shouting insults at people with zippers

8. Sleep 'til 6:00 AM

9. Drive over to Allensville and kick some Mennonite rear

10. Churn butter naked

Lord Bling said...


I like number 8 the best. High quality.