Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Detroit: Not Exactly the Harvard of American Cities

In fact, it's probably not the Pomona Metro Community College of American cities, if you want to get technical with analogies. They have quite a brain trust going on there. I figured it was probably just a matter of time before someone thought of a fake local phone number that you can give out to people, which plays a rejection message to let them know you're not interested. Check to see if your city has a number here. Send me an email and let me know if you've ever been given the number by someone or if you've ever given this number to someone. I would love to hear about it.

I've always known that people that lived in Detroit were probably severely chemically imbalanced. One only has to look as far as their preferences in sports teams (Detroit Red Wings, for example) to see that the city is infested with depraved morons. This may provide an explanation as to why the Rejection Hotline is so incredibly popular there.

After all, you'd think that after a while, word about the hotline would get around, so people would know that if some rotten skank or self-righteous butt pirate gives you "the number", you could be like "Nice try, you avoidant piece of donkey shit." Not that you'd want their real number at that point, but it would at least allow you to reveal their completely unoriginal ruse in the company of others and chide them unrelentingly.

In other larger cities, such as Miami, Boston, and New York, the service has multiple phone numbers to prevent such easy recognition. Not in Detroit. When you're dealing with the city that named their hockey team after a brand of work shoes made in Minnesota and that spawned Kid Rock, you could probably post the number above every urinal in the city, and they'd still lead the nation in desperate, next-morning phone calls to the Rejection Line.


CowboyLaw said...

Okay, so this isn't topical (once agin), but I feel the urge to share this (sorta) breaking news, especially since it relates to my last half-decent comment.

You remember the big deal about the fake news reporter that GWB II let into the White House? You know, the one with no reporting credentials at all, and no relationship with any kind of news agency? The one they let ask softball questions to GWB II anyway?

Well, as it turns out, the fake report is also a real male prostitute. You can read a great article here: http://americablog.blogspot.com/2005/02/man-called-jeff.html

Yeah, so, enjoy that. And just remember: it was Clinton who was supported to be the morally-bankrupt one.

/Ben out.

Lord Bling said...

The guy stumped for Dubya.
The guy was a prostitute.