Michael Jackson: GUILTY...of being a weirdo

First of all, I wanted to put some rumors and comments and emails that I have received to rest.
1) Ryan the Angry Midget has joined forces with the enemy and his website will cease to exist: I made an announcement yesterday regarding the offer that I received from On the Mark to post my liberal blather on his conservative blog. Based on some of the emails and comments that I have received, there seems to be some concerns about what this means for this site. In no way do I intend to abandon this site or allow the quality to diminish because I'm taking some extra time out to make a few conservatives think. Have no fear.
2) Ryan is a sell out My association with World Debate will in no way affect the quality or severity of what I have to say here. It's really just another opportunity for me to make conservatives wet their Pampers Plus with Super Action Leak Guard Protection. Oh, and if I'm such a sell out, why are you sending me email with ads at the bottom, asshole?
3) I am going to have to go to a conservative website to read Ryan the Angry Midget There will still be plenty of Anger here that might wear out my welcome at World Debate, so don't worry about that.

Michael Jackson's child molestation trial Version 2.0 starts today. Read the excitement here. I have a couple of gripes about the situation that I would like to share.

First of all, how much of a mockery of our justice system does this trial make? We've got a guy who has admitted in seven different interviews during prime time television that he had children that were not his own kids sleep in his bed with him. I'll be the first to admit that sleeping next to children is not a crime in itself, but it is completely strange. Most parents don't sleep with their kids after a couple years. If you doubt the validity of this statement, take a random sample of 10 people, and see what they say. I personally guarantee you that unless you work at Focus on the Family, 10 out of 10 people will agree that an adult sleeping next to an 8 year-old is twisted.

Jackson's statements and defense of all of this is probably giving his Defense Attorney random bouts of tachycardia. Instead of trying to come up with evidence to refute the copious amounts of evidence the Prosecution is likely to present, Jackson has gone on record attempting to justify sleeping with an 8 year-old. That's the equivalent of OJ Simpson saying "If someone did stab Ron Goldman and Nicole, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I certainly didn't do it."

The cherry on top of this gigantic cupcake of embarrassment that is the Michael Jackson trial would be if they somehow don't manage to convict him. The only piece of evidence that is lacking at this point is Michael Jackson's penis lodged inside of a drunk 8 year-old kid featured during a prime time interview with Barbara Walters. Even then, Jackson could probably invoke the Kobe Bryant defense, say the intoxication and subsequent penetration was consensual, and have his lawyers leak information that violates the privacy of the accuser until the family drops the criminal charges.

Another source of annoyance, that was also present during the Kobe Bryant fiasco, is the idiots in the general public who make claims that Jackson, Kobe, OJ, and others are targeted because they're wealthy and black. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that the American Justice system is not completely racist. I would even go so far as to say that the criminal justice system may even target minorities. We all know about the death penalty and prosecution rates for drug offenders of difference races.

Jackson, Kobe, and OJ, however, were all involved in highly suspicious circumstances, which is not to say that they're guilty, but when all the neighborhood kids can describe what your wiener looks like, the maid from your hotel room shows up for work walking bow-legged, and your estranged wife and her boyfriend are brutally murdered and you're caught fleeing to Mexico, I think it's a bit simplistic to say that the only reason you're a suspect is that you were the target of racism.

We all know racism is a serious problem in this country, but by claiming that racism was the key factor in your victimization when there were obviously a variety of factors at play, Jackson, OJ, and Kobe are all cheapening the validity of the arguments made by those who actually have legitimate claims of racism. The highly publicized nature of these trials makes it easy for the general public to adopt an attitude of indifference towards claims of racism.

It all reminds me of an episode of South Park, really.