Wednesday, February 02, 2005

State of the Union Etc.

I want to point out how many awesome comments I've received in the last week. I want to encourage those of your who consider yourselves to be conservatives who have been emailing your comments to me to post them directly to the website. I've been getting some great emails, but On the Mark is the only one brave enough to post to the site.

Speaking of which, after making all that ruckus about evidence and research and backing up what you say, On the Mark denied ever saying:
"We've begun the search for hidden chemical and biological weapons and already know of hundreds of sites that will be investigated." in his comments about my Democracy, Liberty, Reality post. I guess he missed the entire Republican Response posting. I was the first to admit when I got it wrong about the 1996 Election statistics, and immediately published a correction and an apology. I guess I'm a little suprised by his Oliver North-like handling of the situation.

Wonkette has posted a State of the Union Address drinking game that I am going to try to keep up with, since gettting completely ruined on Scotch (thanks for the bottle Ben and g.p. Amy) is about the only way I will be able to tolerate the ceaseless applause and mile-high pile of bullshit that is about to come down the pipe.

Regardless of which party is giving the address, The State of the Union address is always a complete waste of time. I think if forced to choose between watching American Idol, A Man from Kentucky and his Goat (it's a reality show on CMT, trust me), and the State of the Union, I might have to pick American Idol, just because I would be ashamed if the goat show made me horny.

The post-State of the Union analysis is always enjoyable as well. I am going to tune in to Fox News, since their coverage is always Fair and Balanced, to see if Brit Hume actually makes love to a likeness of the President after the speech.


CowboyLaw said...

I have a little State of the Union drinking game that I've been playing for the last 4 State of the Unions, and I highly recommend it to anybody. As with most great drinking games, the rules are simple, easy to follow, and make the liklihood of drinking a shitload of alcohol really high. What differentiates my drinking game from most others is that, while most drinking games have rules that follow traditional computer logic (if ____ then _____, where the second blank is usually "drink"), the rules of my drinking game are more qualitative and subjective. So, in the interests of furthering the common good, I will now share with all of you Ben's Patented GWB II State of the Union Drinking Game.

When the Sargeant at Arms of the House introduces the President, drink.

When the President first comes on screen, drink.

When the President starts giving the State of the Union address, start and continue drinking until you forget that we have elected (sort of) and reelected (sort of, but more definitely than before) a leader who noticably pauses at the end of every teleprompter line while his eyes carriage return, whose grasp of the Engligh language seems to be only slightly firmer than his grasp of differential thermodynamics, who nearly choked to death on a pretzel while watching college football, who fell off a Segway (which have been explicitly marketed as impossible to fall off of), and who is widely regarded as less smart than his father---a person who didn't know what a supermarket scanner was when he visited SafeWay in 1992.

The author of this post is not responsible for death or injury by alcohol poisoning, suffocation on your own vomit, DWIs, car crashes (fatal or otherwise), or any other damage, done to yourself or others, as a result of engaging in Ben's Patented GWB II State of the Union Drinking Game. All participants do so at their own risk, and have explicitly assumed the risk of all of the aforementioned.

/it's gonna be a long night
/Ben out.

Lord Bling said...

Ben, your drinking game sounds similar to these:

Strange Brew -- drink everytime someone says, 'eh.'

Put on an NWA album and drink everytime they say the 'n-word.'

Big Lebowski -- drink everytime the Dude says, 'man.'

Like your game, all of those will put you in the emergency room.

CowboyLaw said...

Okay, this is a bit off-topic BUT:

That there is a link to an article where it is suggested (fairly convincingly) that GBW II et al. have issued media credentials to someone who is nothing more than a plant, whose only job is to throw softball questions and make long-winded speeches that aren't questions at all. The evidence that this is the case? The plant in question doesn't work for any recognized news agency. The plant's "reports" are usually in the form of a Blog. The plant's "reports" are usually little more than verbatim cut-and-pastes of White House position statements. The company which employes the plant is entirely owned by a Texas Republican Party bigwig. The plant is frequently called on, despite his no-name employer. The plant is frequently called on after the Prez has had to field some "hard" questions posed by "real" journalists.

Last straw? McLellan didn't even deny that the guy was a fake journalist. Seriously! Read the actual words McLellan spoke, and tell me if it isn't a tacit admission that the guy is a plant!

WTF is up with these people? Will the string of deceipt never end? Clinton was supposed to be the big liar, but this White House has paid several "journalists" to sell out their integrity and back the GOP agenda, threatened to pull the credentials of reports who ask tough questions, and now, apparently, has been seeding the crowd with friendlies. C'mon people: NIXON didn't pull stuff like this. Apparently, when GWB II said he would "restore dignity to the White House", he meant it, except replace the word "restore" with "bring" and the word "dignity" with "a horrifying lack of respect for honest journalism and, indeed, the truth itself".

/How do I get out?
/Ben out.