A Cleveland Steamer for Insurance Companies

Check yesterday's post to see what a Cleveland Steamer is, if this is not yet clear to you.

Health care in the US is like a drunk, schizophrenic uncle. You don't want people to know how bad things are, let alone that you're somehow related. But like 10 million children without adequate health insurance, drunk, mentally unstable relatives are hard to hide, particularly when the US is always waving the flag and bragging about what a damn good country we are.

I think the US is great, don't get me wrong. But as CowboyLaw has pointed out so eloquently before, it's very important to have a mature and realistic patriotism which takes into account the good and bad of American goverment, as opposed to the Lee Greenwood-esque, real patriots don't question the President-style of patriotism that seems to pervade the right-wing these days. One of the biggest challenges we face is that we do a piss poor job of caring for the children in this country.

For a country that has the wealth and resources of the US, we have no excuse for our half-assed approach to insuring children. I personally feel that everyone should have access to basic health care, but even the most psychotic conservative would agree that children, who can't get jobs or pick who their parents are, should have access to care. When Howard Dean suggested universal healthcare for children during the 2004 Presidential Campaign, he was maligned and called a Socialist.

Critics of universal health care use Canada as the example of why government health insurance won't work. They cite substandard care and long waits for services that characterize the Canadian system. The problem with the US making those kind of statements is that it's like Charlie Sheen calling someone a sex-crazed coke-head: hypocritical. People don't have to wait for care or worry about the quality of care in the US, because a good portion of our population gets no care at all or gets substandard care because they can't afford it.

So before you start singing "And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today," you might want to take a deep breath and decide how truly proud you are that we can't get our shit together on health care. The costs to cover only the children in this country per year would be about $5 billion. That's what we're spending every three weeks in Iraq alone. And things just keep getting better in Iraq every single day. Money well spent.

Aside from the fact that people have to hold bake sales and spagetti dinners to pay for chemotherapy for their 8 year-old, the fact that people don't have adequate care means that people who do have insurance have to pay more for care since hospitals are forced to shift costs to those who can afford to pay, just to keep their doors open. Having worked for a number of hospitals, both private and not-for-profit, I can attest that most hospitals operate deep in the red and absorb significant costs for patients either not covered or with inadequate coverage.

I can already see the email someone is typing to me: Ryan, all you do is complain! Do you have any solutions to this problem? Actually, for once I do have a solution. Every American gets access to basic health care services like primary care, immunizations, prescriptions etc. Kids get everything paid for until they're 18 years old, and yes, Pope Benedict, even birth control. If you are an adult and want more than just the basic level of care, you purchase a supplemental policy from a private insurance company. This allows the government to purchase drugs in bulk, like the VA does currently, and cuts costs significantly.

Another thing - if you decide to smoke cigarettes, you are not eligible for basic government health care. People can smoke all they want, but you should forfeit your rights to government health care if you choose to smoke, because I don't want to pay for your habit, any more than you would want to pay for my liver transplant because I favor single malt scotch.

This plan works because private insurance companies can still provide supplemental policies, but the government handles all the high-volume services and prescriptions, which should make the insurance industry that much more profitable. Insurance companies are filthy rich, kids are healthy, we all win.

The problem? This will never happen. The insurance industry profits immensely from the current situation. They want to blame doctors or lawyers or patients who abuse the system, but the fact of the matter is that the private insurance lobby in Washington has ridiculous amounts of money, and will destroy any piece of legislation that might cut into their multi-million dollar profits before it even gets out of committee.

Eventually, things will have to change. Until then, eat lots of fruits and vegetables and don't let anyone talk you into doing something they read about in the Urban Encyclopedia.