It's that time of year again. Time for what The Onion refers to as the Reinforcing O' the Stereotypes. So dust off your bagpipes, get out your penny whistle, and get ready to get so wasted that you would beat up your own grandma.
I was reading something this morning from some pretentious blogger who was saying that St. Patrick's Day is a holiday for the REAL Irish people. I hate assholes like that. This is a holiday for anyone with a mouth and a functioning liver, and to be honest, I'm not sure you even need the second one, although it greatly improves a person's chances of survival on this great day. I don't care if you're Polynesian, Chilean, Sudanese, or Argentinian get your ass out there and drink some green beers!
St. Patrick's Day embodies what is severely lacking in other holidays. Most of us work really hard at our jobs, day in and day out, slaving for the "man". We need more holidays where people can rent a bus to drive them around to various drinking establishments, drink excessively, and celebrate as a community, regardless of religion, race, sexual preferences, or political party affiliations. If we had about 52 more holidays a year like this, we would be going to war, because no one would want to miss out on the great party that was coming up the next week. We'll call this new holiday Saturday.
Unfortunately, having a community drunk fest every Saturday does have it's drawbacks, including liver and/or kidney failure, loss of spouse, frequent urination, morning episodes of dry mouth, skanks in bed syndrome (for you singletons out there), loss of car keys, loss in income to the Taco Bell drive-through, and memory loss.
Whatever you find yourself doing today in celebration, be safe, rent a bus or hire a cab, and may the luck of the Irish be with you every day!