Friday, March 10, 2006

Hate Mail - O- Rama!

When I started writing here over a year ago, it seemed like a got a fair amount of email from individuals who didn't agree with my opinions on things. Anymore, it's a rare occasion that I get anything that isn't either spam from someone else telling me to check out their blog or involving penis enlargment options. Therefore, I don't check nearly as often as I used to. When I did check the my email this week, however, I got a TREAT of an message from someone who definitely doesn't share my views or those of my co-conspirators on this website. You might want to put the kids to bed before you read this one out loud ( I didn't correct the grammatical or punctuation errors):

Ryan (Asshole),
I stumbled across your blog by hitting the Next Blog button on the toolbar at the top of the screen. I've never been more sorry about doing something in all my life. I can tell that you and your friends think you're a bunch of comedians. You think you're so damned smart and enlightened with how you criticize conservatives or Oprah or whatever is pissing you off.

The fact is that you and your posse are all going to rot in hell. You're commentary shows how little you know about life and about politics and how things work in the world. When you criticize the Presdient, you put yourselves in the same category as those ragheads that killed thousands at the World Trade Center. We need to be a united front against terrorists, and people like you only seek to divide our country with lies and liberal bullshit.

If I passed you burning by the side of the road, I wouldn't piss on you to put it out. While people like you kill unborn children by supporting abortion and terrorists, you should realize that real Amercans support President Bush and the troops and don't just spread lies. You should get your friends together and go to church. You might learn a thing or two.

Stop spreading hate and lies on your website. You will pay for your sins.

Name removed

I think it really speaks for itself in terms of quality and logic. I wonder what I will have to do to become a real "Amercan", as he so eloquently put it. I looked up what an Amercan is on MSN Encarta and Google, and I couldn't find what it was, but apparently whatever an Amercan is must be quite desirable for conservatives. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.


CowBoyLaw said...

Several comments.

1. It's funny that the same people who spent 8 years attacking Clinton and saying that he killed people in the White House, sent black helicopters across the west, etc. etc. now believe that any criticism of the President is anti-American. This sort of thing doesn't bother me because I'm at peace with situational ethics, but people like our friend here don't even know what situational ethics means.

2. I've actually gone to church quite a bit in my life, and I know the Midget has as well. Now, unlike the Midget, my pastor didn't force me to fellate him every week just prior to Communion, but that's just a minor detail. I'm always surprised by how many self-professed Christians (and especially self-professed Christians who repeatedly point out that they are Christian, whether or not you ask) seem to have skipped entirely over most of the Jesus-portions of the Bible. But I'll save this for a full-fledged post.

3. (This is too easy) If, as our friend here says, real Americans support the President, only about 30% of the population of the country are "real Americans." It seems to me that that majority always has the right to declare itself "real Americans." Therefore, I hereby declare that those of us in the 70% majority, to wit: those who think Bush screwed up Iraq, screwed up Medicare drug benefits, screwed up the economy, screwed up Hurricane Katrine, screwed up "the war on terror," and generally just screwed everything up, are the "real Americans."

/Seacrest out, bitch!

Lord Bling said...

/golf clap

Well played.

Miles said...

We must all be pinko scum, then, because if we were really American, we would go ahead and sign our first job paycheck over to the Saudis, our second job paycheck to our bosses so they can 'stimulate the economy', and sign our job third paycheck over to the government to fund a war I did not want us to start. Luckily, if I ever get sick and need to go to the doctor, I will have to do the American thing and get a fourth job to pay for my own rising health insurance, which in fact covers very little. At least I won't have to worry about sending my kids through college or drawing Social Security. Fox News will keep me comfortable in the mean time.

Last time I checked, one of the fundamental things about being an American was the ability to speak out against the government. If you don't belive in this, I will refer you to a few documents I like to call the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution, Amendment I. Read them sometime.

leptodactylous said...

I, too, have darkened the doors of church quite a large number of times in my life. In fact, I'm a Missouri Synod Lutheran. We're sort of the Shiites of the Lutheran denomination--you can't get more to the right of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. But that's all irrelevant, because going to church doesn't mean you have Christian values any more than going into the garage means you're a car. Even if I were faking it everytime I attended a service, however, I would never consider it Christian in the nth degree to lump all persons of Arab decent together and refer to them as "ragheads" as this writer so eleoquently chose to do. This writer is an anachronism. He would have fit in better in fascist Germany in the 30's and 40's when "real Germans" didn't question what the government did, but just said "Sieg Heil" and toed the party line. I believe that the day we STOP questioning and criticizing is the day we stop becoming real Americans as some of the great idealists who helped form this country envisioned.