Video of the Week -- Don't let your kids play World of Warcraft

Temper temper!

See more funny videos and Technology Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Thanks to 'DIRTY GMR' for sending.

Chicago Cubs Cemetery?

As a Cub fan, I couldn't let this one go without some commentary:

http://www.cnbc.com/id/30306234/

This is a HORRIBLE idea. We're almost at 101 years straight without a championship. "I know! Let's go to the Cub cemetery, and see the graves and ashes of a bunch of people who didn't get to live to see them win a World Series!"


Sweet Lou was a sweet two years old the last time this team even participated in a World Series. And with the injuries they've had this season, and with the free-swingers like Soriano and Bradley whiffing like they're trying to cool off the fans in the bleachers ... ugh. Unless something changes quickly, I'm already saying 'Wait 'Til Next Year'. Or rather, 'Wait 'Til Who Knows When?'

Props to warm_machine for sending this article.

Why home schooling doesn't always work out

Maybe #3 should have been a little higher?

I also like the other sign "Be the hammer, not the nail!". I think that's the rapist's creed.

VotW -- Summer Slaughter 2009

I shot some video from the Summer Slaughter festival in Dallas (at the House of Blues) last Sunday. Here is one of them, a solo from a Necrophagist song:



Sweep-picking FTW.

I also shot an entire song from Dying Fetus. This style of music may not be your thing, but it's hard to deny the talent and stamina it takes to play it.



Finally, here's part of a song from Suffocation. I liked the intro speech (about old-school pit etiquette):



And I took a few pictures and made them wallpapers. This first one is the vocalist from Suffocation, in the middle of a headbang. The unintended motion blur actually worked really well in this picture. My dad said it looks like it's from a horror movie. Considering their lyrical content, I thought it was fitting.


Here's a wide shot of Necrophagist on stage:


Lastly, here's a mosh pit during the Dying Fetus set. Again, I didn't intend for the motion blur, but it works.


Eight hours of death metal. Yeah, it ruled.

VotW -- Siskel and Ebert's review of 'Billy Madison'

Who looks for things like character motivations in a film like 'Billy Madison'? Apparently, these two did:



So, Adam Sandler can't carry a movie? Roger, I think the public proved you wrong on that one, just like they did on The Usual Suspects and Fight Club.

Now, let me qualify this post by saying that I owe Roger Ebert a huge debt of gratitude. When I was in college and looking to feed my expanding love for cinema, his annual review books were a great tool. I found that I agreed with his opinions a large majority of the time. He wrote his reviews with a passion that most other film critics didn't possess, and it earned him a Pulitzer (still the only film critic to have received this award). And without him, I may have never tracked down masterpieces like Fellini's 8 1/2 or Ali: Fear Eats the Soul. But one place where I know not to trust his opinion is with stupid comedies. He, and most other film critics, fail to recognize that sometimes we just want to see people get hit in the balls for no reason. 'Billy Madison' is exactly that.

Stop looking at me swan!

Like Bill Frist with Terry Schaivo, I ain't letting this bitch die without a fight

I realize it's been a long time since I posted anything here, and for that I apologize. Thankfully, Lord Bling has managed to keep something novel up here during the past few months, while I spin further and further into the downward spiral that is my career and PhD program. One particular topic has pissed me off enough that I figured it was time to post again.

We all know Oprah, and the power that she wields over the opinions of soccer moms across the nation. Newsweek recently published one of the first major pieces of criticism about Oprah that's been made by a major media outlet. Oprah gets plenty of criticism, but hardly ever from mainstream media sources. In particular, the Newsweek article criticized Oprah for giving air-time to ideas that have seriously questionable scientific validity and promoting them as though they were viable medical treatments.

Oprah responded in the way that she always does, stating that she tries to give equal time to competing ideas, and has featured the opinions of doctors and researchers on health issues in addition to quacks and celebrities. Katie Wright, who has appeared on Oprah to discuss her experiences as a parent of a child with autism, defended Oprah on Age of Autism using the same "equal time for both sides" rationale and that Oprah doesn't endorse one side or the other, and lets viewers make up their own minds based on the "evidence".

The problem with the idea of "presenting two sides and letting people decide" is that it starts with the faulty premise that different viewpoints are equal in terms of their validity. Using the do routine vaccinations cause autism in children example that Oprah has presented both sides of on her program as an example, the two competing viewpoints are:

1) There has been no established link between autism and vaccines in any of the numerous scientific studies that have looked at this issue. Nearly 20 studies looking at thousands of children have concluded that there is no link between these two things.

2) My child manifested the symptoms of autism within hours of receiving routine vaccinations. Therefore, all of the previous research on thousands of children must be invalid.

The problem with presenting competing viewpoints here is that one of these viewpoints is substantially inferior to the other. Not because one belongs to a parent and the other to a physician or scientist. Rather, the idea that the opinion of a small but very vocal group of parents is anywhere close to on par with blinded, multiple randomized controlled trials is asinine. On Oprah, both viewpoints are presented as though they are equally likely to be true in the interest of fairness, even though there's way more evidence to support one versus the other.

If you're having a political debate, opinions from both sides can be informative when reasonable people disagree on issues. That doesn't also mean that unreasonable and illogical opinions deserve the same amount of attention as those with more data behind them. You'll notice that not even Fox News invites the KKK Grand Wizard to share the stage with Ann Coulter when discussing Obama's job performance, although lately it's not been clear that their opinions would be all that different.

I refuse to let this site die

With Cowboylaw working 90 hours a week, and the Midge trying to get his PhD, the responsibility of keeping this site alive has fallen squarely upon my shoulders. But rest easy, blog fans! I will answer the call, by posting random thoughts and stupid Videos of the Week, like this one!

If there was ever any doubt about Bo Jackson's abilities in Tecmo Super Bowl, let them be forever squashed by this video:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I will return soon with more random brain diarrhea. Until then, keep one foot in the gutter, and one fist in the gold.

Electronic Entertainment Expo 2009

I'm gonna be at E3 this coming week, so the rest of you are gonna have to step up and hold down the blog fort while I'm gone. Midge, HCP, Cowboylaw ... I'm looking at YOU! Who will step up and end this long streak of Bling blog dominance?

Video of the Week -- Carlton, Breakin' and Poppin'

I don't know what I can add to this, so let's just roll the tape:



Thug life.

Don't buy an old house.

I've had it with my house. It's about 30+ years old, and something is ALWAYS going wrong with it. When I got back from vacation on Sunday night, there was a problem with the circuit breaker box. One of the switches wouldn't stay on, so a part of my house has no power. Apparently, the box is out of date, as the company who made it has been out of business for a long time, and replacement parts are no longer made. So, I have an electrician coming this afternoon and I'm guessing he'll have to replace it (which will be around $3,000, IF I'm lucky).

Then, last night around 2:00 a.m., my girlfriend woke me up to tell me she heard a loud noise in the front yard. Now, she's paranoid, and does this from time to time, and it's usually nothing. It's almost become a routine: I get out of bed, (sometimes with my gun, if I've been playing too much Call of Duty), walk around the house, and find nothing. But this time, she was awake and in the living room, and when the noise happened, both of our cats woke up and ran away scared. So, I got up (sans gun), turned on the porch light, and found that a huge chunk of one of my trees had collapsed. Here it was this morning:


Luckily, it didn't hit my roof or break any windows. There was a thunderstorm last night, but it was probably due to the fact that the tree is in rough shape. Multiple professional feedings haven't helped, and it's probably on it's last legs, so to speak. So, my morning has been spent breaking the tree apart and dragging it to the curb.


As if that wasn't enough, my afternoon will probably be spent bending over and 'accepting' a new circuit breaker box. Guess it's back to the pharmacy for more lube...

UPDATE: Electrical repairs only cost $270. Hoping it holds up.

Video of the Week -- 'Oldboy'

You people really grind my gears. I've been screaming 'SEE OLDBOY!' from the rooftops for years now, but some of you still haven't. It's on IFC every other week, and has been on DVD and Blu-Ray for a while. Still, too many of you haven't taken the two hours to witness its brilliance. Well, here's a trailer, so you can see what you've been missing:



And here's a clip, from what I think is one of the greatest fight scenes in years. Yes, it's all one take.



What are you waiting for? SEE IT NOW, YOU MORONS!

Conference call hell

Have you ever been on a two-and-a-half-day conference call? I'm about to, and I'm wondering which level of Dante's Inferno I've stepped into. Granted, it could be worse ... I could be in San Fran with the rest of my co-workers, trapped in that room, so there's that. I can at least open my office window and get some fresh air. However, they're two hours behind me, and so I'll be on the call until 8:00 each night, IF I'm lucky.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though. The reason I didn't go out to corporate for this quarterly meeting is because I'm taking some vacation, and am flying to Seattle late Wednesday night to see some old friends. I would've only been in SF for 24 hours, so they decided to have me conference in.

Still though, I'm gonna have massive brain drain by Wednesday afternoon.

A good action movie not 'Taken' for granted

'Taken' came out on DVD and Blu-Ray yesterday, and if you like action films, you should at least give it a rent. Luc Besson ('La Femme Nikita', 'Leon - The Professional') wrote and produced it, so that should tell you what you're in for. Plus, the director (Pierre Morel) also made 'District B13', another kick-ass film about which I made one of the first Video of the Week posts. Here's one of the trailers, where Liam Neeson gets to show off his 'particular set of skills':



I've seen it three times now, and it's been enjoyable check-your-brain stuff each time. Neeson brings a good paternal instinct to his role, and he's more than capable with the fight scenes. I do have one question though. What does that girl get her dad for Father's Day? It's not like he's Josef Fritzl. 'Thanks for traveling to a foreign country to kill tons of people in order to save me from being a sex slave. Hope you like this tie!'

Video of the Week -- Motherlover

It's the follow-up to 'Dick in a Box'...



Thanks to Miles for the heads-up.

More on Joe the Plumber....

.... Moron Joe the Plumber.

"I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children."

'Friends?' Like, bowling partners? Or fuck-buddies?

"I like Sarah Palin a lot, actually. I just don’t know if that’s where God’s leading her. I just know the Republican Party’s done its best to blackball her. I don’t know what her agenda is. If she ran, would I vote for her? Absolutely. John McCain was the lesser of two evils."

He doesn't know what her agenda is, but he would 'absolutely' vote for her. Wow. And it's nice to know that he feels strongly enough about lesser evil to campaign for it.




But wait! There's more!

"I would love to hear our leaders actually check with God before he does stuff."

Joe, I introduce to you, Epicurus. Also, 'he'? We have women who are leaders too.

"Not right now. God hasn't said, 'Joe, I want you to run (for public office).'"

If he were elected to our highest office, and God told him to push the nuclear button, would he do it?

I hope they keep putting a microphone in front of this clown. People like this need to be allowed enough rope to hang themselves.

EDIT -- There's a great opinion piece about this over at the Huff.

There Will Be Blood (starring Ahnold and Dubya)

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Oscar-nominated THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Video of the Week -- Rap Chop

I may have posted a video link yesterday, but THIS is the true, official Video of the Week. It's also another example of why I love the internet:



Epic.

MEXICO.

Swine flu. Earthquakes. I picked a fine time to go to Mexico, didn't I? Well, it's not like I picked it, as I'm going for work, but still.

Since I'm gonna be out for a while, I'll go ahead and post a link to my Video of the Week. This is a clip from an episode of the first season of Wonder Showzen. I thought it would be fitting, since this episode was sponsored by MEXICO.

EDIT: I'm not going! Our corporate executives cancelled all travel to Mexico until this blows over. So, you got your Video of the Week a little early.

Video of the Week -- Shawshank in a Minute

Don't sleep on the skills.



Props to the Amberglar, all the way across the pond in Germany, for sending this to me today.

Using your morality as an excuse not to do your job

The recent Supreme Court decision in Iowa, which recognized that denying people the legal rights associated with marriage is unconstitutional, has brought forth an issue that is one of my biggest annoyances. Mostly in small communities around Iowa, county recorders are using their personal religious objections to gay marriage as an excuse not to do their jobs on April 27th, when the state will begin recognizing same-sex unions. The article suggests that gay marriage opponents have been attempting to influence recorders to refuse to file paperwork on behalf of gay couples as an act of civil disobedience.

The idea that you can abandon certain job responsibilities that you feel are against your moral code is not a new one. Medical professionals don't have to perform abortions, if they choose not to. The problem with this type of exception in the case of gay marriages is that it's essentially based on discrimination. The county recorders apparently have no problem marrying straight couples who have a 50% likelihood of remaining married after 5 years. Gay people, however, do not deserve the same protections spouses receive legally, apparently.

I think there's a huge difference between marriage for legal purposes and marriage in your church. If your church wants to deny gay people the right to be married there, I'm fine with them keeping their hypocrisy and "sanctity of marriage" crap to themselves. The idea that straight people uniformly respect the institution of marriage is laughable, but if you also happen to believe that Zombie Jesus came back from the dead for your sins, believing that straight people have respected the sanctity of marriage really isn't that big of a stretch.

Legal marriage is a whole other ballgame. To say that because your church doesn't agree with gay people getting married, that your state shouldn't let them is using your own distorted morality to dictate what people who may or may not believe the same thing can do. And if you tell me our forefathers were Christian one more time, I'm going to slap you upside the head with a history book. They were deists, who wanted anything but religions running the government. Look it up.

As for the recorders in Iowa, I hope anyone who denies gay people the right to be legally married gets fired. Why should gay people have to pay taxes to support the salaries of people who won't do their jobs and want to deny them rights?

Video of the Week -- The Best of Clarence Boddicker

Two posts in one day? Crazy, I know, but I had to get a VotW in here, and it HAD to be this one:



Nothing tops 'Bitches, leave!' NOTHING.

Ow! My spine!

I tweaked my neck last weekend while doing some landscaping in the yard. So I went to a chiropractor, who took some x-rays of my back. Here's one of them:


You don't have to go to chiropractor school to know that this isn't the ideal spine shape.

On another note, I finally got the gold cross in Call of Duty 4!


I'm sure the two events aren't related, right?

Spotted on the entrance at a CVS pharmacy in my neighborhood

Now that the Midge has been through my neck of the woods, he can vouch for the fact that I don't live in a complete ghetto. However, someone didn't tell my CVS Pharmacy that:



That's not a joke. I took the picture last night. I understand that if the person at the register sees someone walk in wearing a ballcap, hoodie, and sunglasses, they might flash back to some security camera footage they saw on TruTV. But I'm not taking off my fucking baseball cap to pick up some Claritin. How is that for MY safety? Is the cashier going to shoot me because I haven't washed my hair that day, and didn't want them to see how messy it is? And don't get me started on cops wearing sunglasses indoors. They do it all the fucking time, like each one thinks he's Jack Nicholson at a Lakers game.

HOLY SHIT, IT'S A ROBBERY! Jack, put the gun down!

That CVS sign is almost as bad as this one:


Now, that sign IS a joke, but I don't think it's that far removed.

Seriously though. Would you take off your baseball cap to buy some deodorant?

Don't.

I disagree with one part of this. I thought 'The Wicker Man' was HILARIOUS.



Wait, what? 'The Wicker Man' wasn't a comedy?

The Midge on the Gilley's mechanical bull

Had I known he was gonna ride the bull, I would've brought my digital camera for better quality video:



Once his shoulders got hunched, it was over. Epic dismount though. Ankles skyward, just like that time in county...

Video of the Week -- classic Ric Flair

Continuing on the 'non-political' theme, I'm making this Video of the Week about one of the best entertainers of the 1980s: Ric Flair. No television personality made me laugh harder when I was growing up. His arrogant showmanship was obviously an act, but he had a gift. There was no pro wrestler who could talk like he could. Here's one of his better YouTube clips, where he talks the talk, and then walks the walk:

Dallas, look the fuck out

The Angry Midget is going to be in Dallas this week for a conference. It'll be the first time he and I have been able to hang out since his wedding, so this city had better look the fuck out.


Much alcohol will be consumed.

Many liver cells will be deformed.

Many donkeys will be raped.

Video of the Week -- Zero Punctuation reviews Resident Evil 5

If you can't tell by my posts these last couple of weeks, I'm not in much of a hurry to talk politics. I'm gonna continue that trend with the Video of the Week. Yahtzee is a British video game programmer who lives in Australia, and decided one day to make a funny review of a game (with Flash animation). It was a huge overnight hit, and so he made a couple of others to show that he wasn't a one-hit wonder. Then, online magazine The Escapist bought his show (titled Zero Punctuation, due to how fast he talks). Over the past year or so, it's aged like a fine wine, and here is another winner, just posted today, where he talks about Resident Evil 5 (bear with the ad that runs in the beginning; it's short):



Couldn't agree more. It's a pretty game that has a dated control and inventory scheme, and goddammit if your AI-controlled partner doesn't worthlessly burn through ammo (and try to heal you) at every turn.

Can't wait to see if he reviews MadWorld. It's like The Running Man meets Itchy and Scratchy.

Video of the Week -- the heaviest thing you'll hear all day

Hey everyone. Here's my pick for Video of the Week. It's a music video from a band called Cattle Decapitation. So right there, you probably know what kind of music you're in for. This video is for a track called 'Regret and the Grave.' You can probably tell from the video that they're vegetarians. I'm not, but the irony in the video isn't lost on me.

Cattle Decapitation - New Music - More Music Videos

I'm a big fan of death metal, and no, I can't tell what he's saying in this song, so here is a sample:

"Wolves use their cunning and stalk in the night
We hide like cowards, with machines to magnify our sight
They've only the skills ever evolving to kill
We hide behind the steel and are slaves to our will

You, the consumer now consumed..."

Dubya to write coloring book

Seriously.


The president who doesn't know how to read is writing a book. Look the fuck out.

The Game of Life has a 'gay agenda'?

Ultra-neo-uber-conservative website WorldNetDaily has an article about how The Game of Life on the PC 'pushes same-sex marriage.' Then, in a brilliant journalistic moment, the very first sentence says, 'includes an option for players to choose homosexual marriage and child-rearing as a way of life.' So, 'pushing' and 'allowing choice' are now the same thing?

"Shortly thereafter, the game invites players to choose a spouse, regardless of the potential spouse's sex."

"WND followed the mother's example and played a game as "Jennifer," who chose to marry another woman."

CHOICE. They let people choose who they want to be in the game. Just like you could 'choose' to put two male (or two female) pegs in the front seat of the car in the board game.

And don't get me started on the advertisement worked into the story for a brainwashing book that the website sells. 'From Crayons to Condoms?' REALLY? Yeah, that's why Johnny can't read. In the immortal words of Jon Stewart: Fuck you.

Video of the Week -- How is Jim Cramer not in jail right now?

I'll admit it. Sometimes, when I'm flipping through the channels at night, I occasionally stop on Jim Cramer's Mad Money. The guy's entertaining. It's annoying that he yells every word at the top of his lungs, but he's either really smart about the overall stock market, or has a great short-term memory. Plus, he hits a lot of funny sounding buttons!

Well, it seems that he and Jon Stewart are in a bit of a feud right now. Gotta say, even before watching this video, I was on Stewart's side:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Basic Cable Personality Clash Skirmish '09

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

And if you're not on Stewart's side yet, watch this interview with Cramer from 2006:



Yes, you really DID hear him say such things as:

"You can't foment. That's a violation... But you do it anyway because the SEC doesn't understand it."

"When you have six days and your company may be in doubt because you are down, I think it is really important to foment."

"What's important when you are in that hedge fund mode is to not be doing anything that is remotely truthful, because the truth is so against your view. It is important to create a new truth to develop a fiction."

How has this guy stayed out of prison, much less have a popular TV show?

NEWS FLASH: McCain's daughter is not a righty (also not unattractive)

Meghan McCain is for gay marriage, voted for John Kerry in 2004, and just today, she publicly trashes Ann Coulter? No wonder her dad kept her out of the spotlight last year. She may still be a righty, but she's an independent thinker, and that's something I'll always give kudos for.

My scanner still works

Nels asked me to send him some of the pics from the second Bronco Super Bowl party, so I broke out the scanner. I also scanned a bunch of other masterpieces, and they're on Facebook, so if you're a friend of mine there, enjoy. I didn't include a few of the more 'drunk' pictures, since I know FB has plenty of employers on it, as well as others who may not be willing to accept the fact that we all like to throw down from time to time.

Like a good dealer, I'm gonna give you a free taste here:

Postcards from the Edge

Just some random thoughts for the blog since we've kind of fallen off the wagon in regards to current events due to money, drugs, and women. Unfortunately, the money we don't have anymore, the drugs are the lamest of prescription, and the women are now required by law to see us naked. Be that as it may in no certain order:

-Jay Cutler on the trading block in Denver. What a load of horseshit! Sorry he may be the goofiest looking QB in the NFL, but he's more fun to watch than Jake Plummer and is more qualified to run a McDonalds than Matt Cassell will ever be, let alone the quarterback position. I'd rather watch a gunslinger go down swinging than simply running the clock out to get to the next game. So it's in the best interest of McDaniels to remember he's in Mile High and not New England.

-A little over one month since the Obama administration took over and the "Right" wing of the republican party has called it, or is calling for, a failure already. How is this possible? I will give them credit, they have the market cornered when it comes to obstructionism. Get in line or get the fuck out of the way. Just quit voting all together and let the Democrats do what they think is best. If it fails, we'll own it, but when it works, we'll own that too. I will also take to gloating and slapping the babies of Republican mothers in public. I may even break bones and laugh, we'll see.

-Rush Limbaugh is the new leader of the Republican party. While I initially laughed my ass off at the shear thought of this, I find after the Douche-PAC convention this weekend that he certainly must be, but here's the thing about Rush. He's big in his own mind and I believe that the Republicans have allowed a monster to operate unfettered for far too long, and if they lose this next election cycle, I hope his own party has the sense to bury him for good. All human kind may depend on it.

-Bobby Jindal...never has mediocrity been so painful to watch. Like the Daily Show put it, you are the Mr. Rogers of the Republican party, without the range of character. If you are in fact meant to resurrect your party, we'll see you guys in 2024. That should be enough time to get your shit together.

Do not take my post the wrong way, I have no doubt that the Republicans can, and will, bring it in the next mid-term especially if they finally find someone to speak up that isn't a complete fucktard. I look forward to that day. By the way, Steele was in no way a pander towards black people. No one saw that one coming. Governor Gidget really brought the female vote to the Republicans this last cycle so I'm sure that black people are stupid enough to just vote for the party with the "brotha." Good luck shitheads.

-HCP

Video of the Week is early this time

Thanks to The Miles for sending this. It was too good not to share here with you all. Can't describe it ... just watch:

Watch it bitches...here comes the Hollywood Undead

SPREAD THE WORD...I felt a little guilty for not posting for a while, and I especially feel bad for missing the 666th. However, I found this new band and I thought they kicked some ass. Hope you enjoy!

Two videos

In honor of Lord Bling's Failstation:



And another video to commemorate 666 posts. Cheap Trick sings this song to my son like a nursery rhyme:

OUR 666th POST!

YES! This blog has just hit 666 posts! And we'll do it up right in a couple of ways, by posting THESE:





ENTER TO THE REALM OF SATAN!!!

LOL

Here's to 666 more posts!

Andrew 'Slayer' Elhard's 27th Birthday

Today would've been my brother's 27th birthday.


I'm celebrating by listening to a LOT of Slayer, and will do a Black Tooth Grin shot at some point in the day.

Also, I'd like to point out that this is the 665th blog post in this site's history. My brother would've loved that ('The neighbor of the beast!'). So who will be post number 666? There's a 'video of the week' due tomorrow ... but any one of you regular posters can take the 'crown' if you choose!

Bling Bling!

I'm going HERE today, muthafuckas!


They have the Springfield XD45 to rent, and I've wanted to try one for a while now. I'm gonna bust a cap in some paper targets.

"Wit a gat it don't matta if he's smalla or bigga!"

Video of the Week -- Mike Patton

Odds are good that if you grew up in the 80's or 90's, you remember the song 'Epic' from Faith No More. Their bratty frontman, Mike Patton, has gone on to sing in many other projects. Some of the more-famous ones are:

Mr. Bungle
Fantomas
Tomahawk
Dillinger Escape Plan
Peeping Tom

The dude is one of my heroes in the music industry. He continues to push the envelope, and doesn't give a shit about record sales or recognition, and his art is better for it. A good example would be this live Tomahawk video, called 'God Hates a Coward.'



Sometimes weird can be good. Patton is proof of that.

EDIT: I just learned that Patton did the voices for the zombies in the video game Left 4 Dead! Very cool.

Just got my Xbox 360 back!

Good news! I already got my Xbox 360 back from repair! The local center is in Mesquite, which is about 30 minutes from my house, so that helped.

Bad news! I took it out of the box, and found a bunch of black scuff marks all over it!


Did they kick it down a flight of stairs? Do a Doc Marten tap dance on it?

I'm afraid to even plug this fucking thing in.

Video of the Week -- GI Joe PSAs from Fenslerfilms

I've been out of town for work, so the Video of the Week is late. And that's just too fuckin' bad, ain't it? You bitches are lucky you get a video of the week in the first place. When I was a kid, I didn't have no fancy things like internets or videos of the week!

Okay, seriously though, since this is late, I'll make it up to you by posting a few classics from Fenslerfilms. These are some of the famous GI Joe PSAs, redubbed. These have been around for a long time, but a lot of people still haven't seen them. I think you'll like 'em:

Failstation 3 AND FailBox 360

I'm too angry right now to type much, but I at least want to post something about my shitty day with hardware. This afternoon, my PS3 officially stopped working, and I spent an hour on the phone with Sony customer support about it. The Blu-Ray drive will read PS3 games and DVDs, but not Blu-Ray movies. So they're sending me a coffin, but it's gonna cost me $149.99 plus tax.

Then, tonight, I went to play my Xbox 360, and the screen started fritzing out (warped colors, etc.). I bought new component cables, but no good. I tried different inputs on my HDTV, and same result. My PS2 runs through component cables, and both inputs on my TV worked just fine. So I spent 30 minutes on 1-800-4MYXBOX (AKA Microsoft India), and now I have to send my Xbox 360 in for repairs. It's gonna cost me $99.99 plus tax, plus shipping (they don't send coffins for non-RRoDs anymore).

These two events are completely unrelated, and both happened in the same day. It's not the TV, as I have the two units in totally separate rooms.

Right now, Sony and Microsoft can both eat my ass.

Third time's a charm...

It was January 17th, a night like any other, you might think. But you'd be wrong, because this night marked the occurrence of the annual Benson Pub Crawl and Winter Retreat. The Third Annual to be exact. The GDP and the Dow Jones may be growing ever smaller, but the attendance at the annual crawl grew bigger for the second year in a row. Thirty-nine crawlers were actually present when we stepped off from crawl headquarters (following the traditional playing of "Beer" by Psychostick), and more than a dozen additional attendees joined at the first two stops on the crawl. Barley Street Tavern was ignominiously cut from the event mid-crawl, because of an unexpected cover charge. Burke's suffered a similar fate because it was too crowded already, and the addition of 50 or more crawlers would have likely started a riot. How many finished? Well, I stopped counting after I reached 25, so we definitely surpassed last year's mark of 21.

What were the highlights? They started with two young ladies showing up at headquarters sporting t-shirts that bore the image of Leptodactylous, yours truly, on the front. Another highlight was the debut appearance of Jake's on the crawl agenda. It made a very positive impression. They'll definitely be on the list for the 4th Annual. As always, there was the shuffleboard at the Musette. After two years of empty promises, there was an official soundtrack for the pub crawl this year. Maybe not everyone would consider that a highlight, but I certainly did.

A picture says a thousand words, so I'll stop writing and let some of the photos tell the rest of the story. If you missed this year, wallow in your envy and hope that you have better fortune next January...

a good time was had...

First-Annual JDGL Charity Ice Bowl

Besides guitar, my brother also loved to play disc golf. He made a lot of friends at the Jamestown Disc Golf course (as he did everywhere!), and they're putting on a fundraiser event for him. It's the first-annual JDGL Charity Ice Bowl, and it starts at noon on Sunday, February 8th. No entry fee, but donate as much as you can. All proceeds go to my brother's wife and children. More details are listed on the website:

http://jamestowndiscgolf.com/

Any and all in the Jamestown, ND area are invited!

Video of the Week -- Fun with Bubble Wrap

Before Jackass, Bam Margera made skateboard videos called 'CKY', which stands for 'Camp Kill Yourself' (his brother Jess is in the band of the same name). The videos were about 20% skateboarding, and 80% pranks and funny stuff, like this here, where Bam and his friend Brandon DiCamillo put a bunch of bubble wrap in some large pants and tried to skateboard...



This is from the CKY2K video.

Failstation 3: Electric Boogaloo

Question #1: How many people do you know who own Xbox 360's have had it break down (commonly referred to as the 'Red Ring of Death,' or the 'RRoD')? Some estimate the failure rate to be as high as 68%. I still think that number is low, as I don't have a single friend who hasn't had it happen to them.


Question #2: How many people do you know who own Playstation 3's have had it break down? Sony claims that the fail rate on the PS3 is 'around .02%'. I don't know anyone who has had it happen to them.

Question #3: How many people do you know who have had both an Xbox 360 and a PS3 break down on them? I assume maybe zero? Well, it's zero no longer. I got the RRoD last summer, and my PS3 just took a shit on me last night too.


I tried to download their new firmware update (which Sony forces upon people on a regular basis) via the internet, and kept getting an error code (80029C78). It was past midnight, and Sony's customer service department isn't open 24 hours, so I e-mailed them with the details. About 18 hours later, I got an e-mail back, telling me to download the update on my PC, transfer it to a memory card, transfer it from the SD card to the hard drive of the PS3, and make sure the 'Media Server' option is disabled before installing. I did all of that, and then got a new error code (8002F163). The system tried to reboot itself three times, and then it stopped turning on altogether. I called Sony customer service this time, and they didn't try to troubleshoot it or anything. 'You'll have to go to the website and fill out a form to have a pre-paid repair box shipped to you.' I went to the website last night and guess what? It was down 'for maintenance.'

I had a similar phone call with Microsoft about nine months ago, and while the person on the other line was in India and didn't speak very clear English, he took my address over the phone and had the box sent to me. Also, Microsoft paid for the repair, without any proof of purchase. When Sony's website finally came back up, I saw that I needed to submit a copy of my receipt as proof of purchase, or else the repair would not be covered. This is concerning for two reasons: 1) I can't find the receipt, and 2) Even if I had the receipt, Sony's warranty on the PS3 is only good for one year, and I've had it for almost three. Microsoft may have extended their warranty on the Xbox 360 because of the high fail rates, but Sony only has a one-year warranty? They say the PS3 will have a ten-year life cycle, but the hardware is only protected for one-tenth of that time? A quick check of the official PS3 message boards shows that repair usually runs around $150, and that's not money I just having sitting around. Why should I have to pay for a mistake in their firmware update that ruined my hardware? They already have my $599 U.S. dollars...



There IS a happy ending here though (no, not THAT kind of happy ending). When I was filling out the return form on the service website, I went to get the serial number off of my PS3 and thought, 'I'll try to turn it on again.' It came on, and it downloaded the update. It's working just fine right now.

But for how long?

Inauguration photo -- hi-res

I just found this photo from the inauguration on a message board, and wow, talk about zooming in. You can get right in on pretty much anyone's face.

EXTREME INAUGURATION CLOSE UPS HERE!

I challenge you to not zoom in directly on Dubya and Professor X...

Video of the Week (and it's not about the inauguration!)

Some of you may have seen this one already, but it hadn't been posted here yet, so I figured 'why not'.



'Cash or credit?'

Belated Christmas present

Thanks to warm.machine for sending.

Do you wanna get rocked? Pub Crawl Survival Guide

At least once a year, a merry band of professional drinkers gets together for a forgettable evening of mayhem. This Saturday is the 3rd Annual Benson Pub Crawl and Winter Retreat. Each year, the number of people in our group expands as well as the number of "finishers", those left standing at the Full House Bar at the end of the night. Year 1 saw only 7 very intoxicated souls make it through the gauntlet of dive bars, but that number increased substantially with over 20 standing at the end last year. In an effort to help us top our previous years, I have developed some tested strategies.

1) The bar crawl is a marathon, not a sprint - Every year, some highly over-confident jerkoff complains that the Benson crawl consists of only 6 or 7 bars. Every year, that guy ends up in a gutter outside the Musette, only the second stop on our crawl. How a person starts the night can largely determine the outcome. I would recommend not starting with a beer, a jager-bomb, and a double captain and coke at the first bar. Unless you plan on being in bed by 8:00.

2) Prime the pump - I'm not sure if it was by design, but this year the crawl does not coincide with the Saturday NFL Divisional playoff games. The previous two years consisted of those of us who enjoy football getting a pretty strong head-start. A regression analysis of factors that predict finishing the crawl found that setting a foundation with drinking before the crawl was a significant predictor of success. Starting later means that you could fall victim to catch-up drinking, which occurs in group settings when other people have a few more drinks than you do, so you take extreme measures to reach their state in a short period of time. Catch-up drinking always results in overshoot, where the "chaser" quickly surpasses the group. Overshoot often ends in what I like to call reverse consumption or calling uncle Ralph on the porcelain telephone.

3) Create fun games and side-wagers - If I've learned anything in my life, it's that gambling makes everything more fun, except college football. Make up bets on whether or not someone will complete the crawl. Set an over/under on the number of finishers.

Play jukebox roulette, wherein each person chooses a song at the first bar on the jukebox that they believe will be on every jukebox on the crawl. Each person plays their song at each bar. If you reach a bar where your song is not available, you're out. At the end of the night, each person who was eliminated has to buy a round for the people who played their song at the most consecutive bars. I know some of you are thinking that with those fancy internet jukeboxes, this game would not be much fun because you could pick almost any song, and the jukebox will download it for you. People who say that have never been on the Benson Crawl, where you better be picking something by Neil Diamond or the Stones if you want to have any chance at the end of the night.

Pictures of this year's crawl will be posted here (censored to protect the guilty party) and Facebook (with tags so you can tell who that guy is with puke on his face).

Video of the Week -- Tai Chi Masters

This one is a video that a friend of mine made a while back, and I just found it on YouTube. My friend is the one with the 'Long Dong' style. It has almost two million hits! Enjoy!

The luck of the Irish?

So...it's been quite a week. Clinton looks to get her Secretary of State job. George W. makes a complete ass out of himself one last time on national television, save his final address he is to give on Thursday night, and it looks like all of us hard working middle class people are about to have our pants pull down by every corporation in America looking to get hj'd within the next 6 months. Can't wait. Good thing I still afford some lube. In other news, looks like the senate democrats finally found a backbone, too bad it wasn't when we had the shittiest of the shitty in the White House. Harry Reid is the biggest waste of time I have ever seen, except Feinstein. I'm so fucking tired of worthless leadership in this country. I don't care what Obama may "backtrack" himself on, at least I get the sense that he's put sincere thought into it and has the advisory teams in place to prove actual thought is being put into the process.
But on to the true matter at hand, the Broncos have managed to hire an unproven coordinator with no head coaching experience to speak of. What a load of shit! We dumped a two time Super Bowl coach for this pile? Now I know someone out there will say, "But, he worked for the greatest coach in the league for 6 seasons." My reply is this: ask Charlie Weiss how coaching goes post Belichick. That man continues to lay one turd after another season after season. If you look about half way down that chart, you'll see that he has posted a 7-6 record this season. Way to go Charlie! I certainly hope that next season the spread offense sets records, and we get into the playoffs with some glimmer of hope of getting out of the first round, but I'm worried that the season just died even with the luck of the Irish.

-HCP

Romanowski wants to coach the Broncos?

Yes, you read that headline right. Bill Romanowski wants to coach the Denver Broncos. The story is HERE.

No NFL coaching experience. Admitted steroid use. When Shanahan decided that he wasn't good enough to start anymore, he left to play for the hated Oakland Raiders.

He was fun to watch, but he was one of those players that fans of every other team hated, and even we Bronco fans could understand why. Just check out number seven here:



But coaching? Dude, Snoop Dogg has more coaching experience than you. Get over yourself.

Slow it...DOWN!!!!

Alright, I thought that I would add the video of the week. Here's an oldie, but a goodie. Enjoy-HCP